The Sunny, Ocasionally Cloudy Sky (Imaizumi Yui b.l.t vol 21)

Imaizumi Yui, restart.

It’s been 4 months since my hiatus. I repeatedly think of going back to everyone, but even now it’s still unsettling. And yet, holding to ‘the hope to the future’…

While vigorously running up a hill road, to be the only person who suddenly decides to stop running, one would think that it definitely takes courage to do such a thing. However, to suddenly start running again.. even by just taking a small step forward, It requires even more courage than one would expect. The feeling of seeing the backs of fellow comrades constantly moving forward, creating a distance. As a result, thoughts start to arise in her mind.. “Will there still be a place for me?” Pondering various thoughts..In the end, she makes a decision: to return to the starting point, and to be reborn. “Just like starting over.” Now, she takes a new step forward towards the light that’s shining between the clouds.

4 months have passed ever since you took a break from Keyakizaka46 activities in April,  But now you've return. First of all, with great pleasure I would like to say "Welcome Back". 

「Thank you very much. Today’s photoshoot was really fun. I didn’t think I would be able to see such beautiful scenery, all in one day. I’m really happy….」

We are really happy too, by just being able to see you have so much fun. Previously on the 6th of April the “1 year Debut Anniversary” took place. After the show when we greeted each other backstage, I noticed something.. “Isn’t Imaizumi crying?” “I wonder what’s wrong”…. A few days after that happened, you announced your break. If you don’t mind, could you share with us what happened right until you announced your break?

「Actually, 3 days prior to the “Anniversary Live” I’ve already made my decision of taking a break. However, right at the same time, on that day I had an argument with my mother. My mother said to me “I don’t want to go to the concert”. For me, because this was going to be my last appearance on stage before taking a break,  I absolutely wanted her to come, but up to this point I actually haven’t told her that I was going to be taking a break...

As for my brother, I did tell him that I was going to take a break for a while so I really wanted him to come to the concert but also said to him “I would really like mom to come see me for my last appearance on stage before I take a break.” My brother help me convey this to my mother who in the end came to the concert too. However, no one told my father that I was going to take break, he wasn’t informed about it not until afterwards. Those tears after the concert...

I felt relieved that I was able to temporarily take a break, but at the same time I was thinking maybe this could be my last time to appear on stage as a Keyaki member, While taking this into consideration I was glad that the concert ended well, I was experiencing a lot different emotions.」

Did you tell any of the member’s that you were going to take a break?

「Right up until my break from the group started, I didn’t even tell any of the members. It was one of the staff member who told them about it days later. I really regret this, I wished I could’ve done things differently.. During the concert I was the only one who was thinking about things like “After this concert is over, I probably won’t be able to see everyone for a while.” At that moment it was a really different feeling than it usually was while I was standing on stage. I said to myself…..”I’m gonna burn it into my memory, this scenery.” 」

So that’s what happened….. If it’s possible, could you please tell us about the moment that you decided you wanted to take a break?

「It was around the time when we were doing rehearsals for the the Anniversary Live but I was thinking “I wonder what will happen to me if I just keep on continuing the group activities with my current condition?”  Up to this point, I did bring this up quite a few times and said things like “I would like to take a little break” but timing-wise it was a bit complicated so I decided I was going to do my best to just continue and see how it went from there. 

However, 3 days before the concert I had to reach out to the staff because I couldn’t hold out any longer… I was in desperation and it looked like I was begging for help like “Please save me”. From there, after the live my break was decided, but the drama that we were in “Zankoku na kankyakutachi” was still midway through shooting, I was thinking “I’ve been allowed to take a break, but what will happen to the drama?…” Because I was taking a break even the script had to be changed and all the members had to deal with the workload burden that I inflicted because of my absence... 

Furthermore (the drama was still in the early stages of news coverage) I didn’t get to apologize to everyone, not even the staff members, so I thought to myself from here on out little by little…I really have to earn back the confidence and trust that has been lost the moment I started taking a break. I don’t care how long or how many years it will take. In order to leave an impression on people like “I really want to work with Imaizumi again”, I want to give my all and devote myself to the job.」

I would really like to thank you for giving such an honest answer. During this 4-month period, I’m sure it made you think about a lot of things, would you mind talking about the things that was going through your mind?

「 Even though the staff told me this “Don’t rush, even if it will take a while.. just take your time.” But I was never really good at entering and becoming part of a group of girls in the first place. If I slowly take my time and prolong my break It would probably make it even harder to come back, This really made me feel uneasy. 

I’m impatient so I even thought “If I don’t return even by tomorrow, people will surely start to dislike me.” But on the contrary, if I rush things I don’t think things will end up going well either... I guess there was a lot of different things that I was thinking about.」

For example, when the group was performing “Fukyouwaon” on a music program or the like, they left Imaizumi’s position in the choreography empty and performed as it is, How did that make you feel?

「……I was really happy, but I really felt bad for causing such trouble. Just because I wasn’t there, now there’s a hole in such a beautiful formation. It was really obvious there was a gaping hole too. I really felt that they didn’t have to go to such lengths just for me... 

Even for the drama shooting I knew everyone was doing their best despite the hectic schedule and yet I was the only who said “I will be taking a break.” Actually there are times I regret saying those words.」

While you were taking a break, the members even went out of their way and kept contact to check up on you right?

「Yes. (Sugai) Yuuka-chan and (Moriya) Akane-chan contacted me quite a lot. I get messages like “I’ll be waiting for you!” on LINE. And, (Harada) Aoi-chan and (Nagahama) Neru-chan said things like “Let’s go for a meal when you’re feeling better okay?” They also send pictures “This is how and what the Keyaki members are doing right now” I really felt supported and encouraged. 

Because of that, I wonder how many times it made me think “I think I can come back now. I really want to come back” I thought the timing was then and there, but as I expected..right at the last minute, my courage to come back dissapears, I get scared…… I was thinking, If I keep doing this and prolong my return then I surely will never be able to move forward at all, I even consulted the staff and asked “What would be the best thing for me to do?”」

When you were thinking about coming back, was being able to sing again an important factor for you?

「Yes. I don’t think I would be able to live without singing. I really love to sing. Therefore, if there’s only one thing I could choose to contribute to the group it will definitely be my singing I think, so because of that I really want to increase my singing ability.」

From the first album “Masshiro na mono wa yogoshitakunaru” there was your solo song “Natsu no hana wa himawari dake ja nai”. We get to hear you sing again so this was practically your resuming of group activities isn’t it?

「To be completely honest with you…..I really got scared about returning to Keyaki, there were times where I even thought about graduating from the group once the album came out. Right at the time when I was about to tell my intention to one of the staff, the staff told me “Imaizumi’s solo song will be included in the album”. Once I heard that, it made me re-think my decision, I can’t just quit so easily like that.

The world has always inspired me so I want to keep doing my best and sing. But I was still taking a break so of course I didn’t expect my solo song to be included but for me to be also part of the unit songs..I never even thought about it. To be facing how the members will react and to wonder what will the fans think. I’m really afraid of grasping all of this.」

I think the fans will no doubt warmly greet you with a “Welcome back”.

「I hope so. That would really make me happy.」

During the shooting of the “Getsuyoubi no asa, skirt wo kirareta” I believe this is the first time you met up with the members again after a long time, am I right?

「Yes during the MV shooting, that’s true. As expected, I was really afraid of meeting them. I was also afraid when thinking about going to the shooting. I was very nervous. Since it’s been awhile since i meet them and that it seems like members just found out that i will also be participating in the shooting. I don’t know how i should act. That day, me and members barely spoke to each other. When I think about it now it was like, we both froze up (laughs).

But, the staffs said, “Since it suddenly might be hard for everyone to work together, Imaizumi can choose whether she wants to participate or not”. So i thought about it, in addition of having such a long break, I also want to fill my desire to respond to the feelings of the staff who allowed me to participate in our first album. So I went to Yuuka-chan for advice before the shooting. When I said “I want to join but I’m scared”, she answered with “We’ve been waiting for you so don’t worry, rest assured!”. That’s how I made up my mind “I’m going!”, I told the staffs. As expected from Captain Sugai, she can be depended on.」

As expected from the captain, Sugai-san, she can be relied on.

「She’s really dependable. During the shooting too she would offer, “Do you want to drink water?”. It’s really reassuring. Yuuka is like an older sister, and Vice Captain Akanen too is frequently in contacts with me. After the MV shooting they sent me a LINE, “You did well”. It makes me happy.”」

Since this is your first shooting after a long time, what kind of impression did it left on you?

「Let’s see… I had to make my hairstyle looked like the one I have during Silent Majority so I had to wear a wig. ‘Ah, so this is how it feels like’ is what I thought. (laughs)」

That’s right, your hair is short now. How was the timing when you cut your hair?

「I cut my hair the next day after it was decided that I will take hiatus. I always wanted to cut my hair short since a while ago but because there are activities with Keyaki and the staffs also told me ‘You look good with long hair’,  I thought that if i cut my hair it will only after i graduated from the group. But, my past self… I hate it, I don’t want to go back to it, I wanted to start anew, that’s why i cut it.」

What did you honestly think when you see yourself with short hair?

「’Ah I cut it~’ (laughs). But I only shortened the hair on the back, so when I tie it, I don’t think anything changed. Because there’s no meaning to it, I cut my fringe and changed my appearance.」

You cut your hair a while ago, did it grew longer and became the current length of hair?

「Well, I did cut it very short at first… Especially regarding the fringe, there may be different opinions about it, but I will be happy if you start to like the new things about me as well. I want to make this hairstyle popular (laughs).」

Today the staffs here tell you that it suits you (laughs). Then, today’s shooting was the resumption of “outside work”, how was it?

「At first i was very nervous. What kind of expression should I show… However, (when taking it) during the shoot, I felt very nostalgic. I took my first solo gravure with blt graph, when I returned I’m starting again from the beginning. I thought that I will be happy if I can show this feeling . That solo gravure I took was when my hair was still long so I want to show the newly reborn me with short hair.」

It is a honor for us to be chosen from a number of magazines, but the truth is, coincidentally we also made the offer at the same timing is… So when i think about it, i guess it is really is meant to be now

「I also thought that it be nice if I can retake my first step from here so I’m glad that I could work with the same staff as the first time!」

 Thank you very much. Let’s go back a bit, but i think there might be a new perspective about the group, the members and about yourself that you saw during hiatus. What do you think?

「Since I took the day of I first wanted to reset everything and making it to a clean state. Cutting my hair was one of it. It’s not that I want to change my image, I don’t care whether it will suit me or not, I just wanted to cut it first. Then, after i cut it I felt very refreshed! Since I was wondering whether I should cut my hair or not, when I did it was resolved!」

Also, your face line seems to become sharp overall, did it not?

「(Rising tension) Eh~, is that so!? I’m getting into the mood now (laughs). But today, coming to Oshima (in Izu), isn’t the scenery beautiful? Even just by seeing only the desert-like place in the upper parts of the mountain, I feel like ‘I’ve never seen such scenery before!’. The places around me are all beautiful. To take pictures at this kind of place, I think that I am a really blessed as a person.」

How do you say it, you feel that ‘Nature is amazing!’ right? (laughs)

「That’s right, I feel like i’m just a speck of a dust (laughs). The desert was so vast! When I’m in front such a scenery, my problems are small in comparison.」

It’s good that you think like that. Also, when I was watching the shooting, I feel like your facial expression did not become mature

「I think there is a small sense that i broke out of my shell. This is the first time I cut my hair this short.」

If I recall correctly, during “Fukyouwaon” release your hair was shoulder-length. During the 1st Anniversary Live, there’s the impression that it became even shorter than that.

「The desire to shorten my hair was strong since that time. This time i cut my hair by 30cm, i think it is the longest i have cut it. Just now i realize how much i cut back then.」

For us, we are having so much fun as to how we will present the new Imaizumi Yui from now on.

「But the 4 months gap, for me, was big in many ways. Everyone has gone ahead of me, there is the feeling that I must catch up to them.」

Just as we talk about earlier, is there a feeling of impatience?

「(At the time of interview) I cannot participate in learning album songs’ choreography… But because I have to remember it in a shorter period than everyone, I will really have to work hard.」

 It might not be my place to say this but, please don’t push your self too much…

「Ah, but I really love this job, I want to continue doing this for a long time. This will sound like an exaggeration, but I love it so much i’m willing to stake my life for it…. I made that determination when I returned. That’s why, I want to quickly sing again.」

I’d like to hear the story about when you knew that you are singing for a song and the recording of the album.

「The recording for my solo song (Natsu no hana wa himawari dake janai) took a very, long time. Because it’s my first solo song, I wanted to make it a wonderful work so I was very fixated about it. Until I am satisfied, I say “Can I sing it once again?”. It took a long time to sing the chorus again and again.」

When I listened to the song, I thought “What a nice song”. Now I am convinced that you put your feelings into it from what you just told me. What do you think about the song?

「Hmmmm~ But, the recording time took longer than what I expected. When I was in hiatus I continued to take voice lessons but, I only felt my lack of ability when I was doing it for real… As I listened to the song I made, I wondered if I sang more before the recording I could have finished it differently.

But truth is, it isn’t like that. That is why when I think about having the opportunity to someday sing “Summer’s Flower” onstage, I am practicing to deliver a 100% of the song.」

I am also looking forward to Yuichanzu’s new song “One line of Airmail”. Speaking of which, before your hiatus you wrote a blog about having clashing ideas with Kobayashi Yui about your live performance. How did that go?

「I have a lot of clashes about music with Yuipon (Kobayashi Yui). Before the April 6 live, both of us could hardly settle our opinions so as our performance was closely approaching, we were very nervous. I think it was the day before? Yuipon sent me a message saying “Because I will do my best on the guitar, I want you to take the lead on singing.” Somehow with those words I was relieved. Singing and Guitar, it’s a relief to do have to do both but having been told to “Leave the guitar up to me”, it created some leeway and could enjoy singing during the performance.

Something like that, I think with the new song “Ichigyou dake no Airmail”, the Yuichanzu up until now has changed in various ways. Until then, both of us have been singing the way we liked but this time, we did a recording where we first discussed about trying to sing in a way that matches the song. I think having been able to do such a discussion is such a wonderful thing. Up until now, we did our best individually but now we have some leeway and can think more about the song. I am very happy with that.」

I think it is precisely because you had clashing ideas that your creativeness was enhanced.

「(Coupling songs for the 1st and 2nd singles) During “Shibuyagawa” and “Bob Dylan wa Kaesanai”, when we received the music it had a try-to-sing-it-by-yourself feeling. But in “Tuning” (4th), we became able to seriously say  “Let’s try it like this, Aaaah let’s try”. Because we are always provided with wonderful songs, we also wanted to do as much as we could to make the song even better. I think our consciousness changed.」

Well that was such an interesting story. So what about Keyakizaka46 as a group. In what way was the group reflected when you saw it while you stepped away?

「Right…while I was on hiatus, I did see everyone’s performance on television but their level of perfection becomes higher with each day. But with that, I can’t help but think I might get left behind. Especially because the last time I performed “Fukyouwaon” was on April 6, I wonder if the difference in level has widened. Even if I enter at this stage, I think I will just lower the quality. That is how much I feel the group’s level has increased.」

However, but I did feel while watching the MV of “Fukyouwaon” that Imaizumi-san during the choreography in the bridge, the part where you move your body weight left to right by sliding, I wonder if it is to show the dance in a big way. In that part, you are shining.

「That is Takahiro Sensei’s teaching. Because within the group I have short height, compared to everyone if I don’t show the dance in a big way, I would stand out like a sore thumb. When everyone takes a half-step, I take a full step. As I use twice the strength as I make those big movements, I must train in those areas.」

Ooh, so that’s how it was! That means Uemura-san who has the almost the same height as you also does the same way of dancing?

「I wonder, Rina-chan and I haven’t probably talked about performances… (laughs) Because the 2 of us always talk about silly and senseless things.」

We had Uemura-san in the last issue. In fact, there seemed to be a time when she thought about “The meaning of being in Keyakizaka46”.

「Me too. There are a lot of times I have thought, “I wonder if it’s all right for me to stay in Keyaki”. But when I actually took a day off and got away from the group, I was a member every day until then, so I did not know how to spend my day alone.  A day wherein I wouldn’t even take a step outside my home continued for many days. But as I have talked about before… my love for singing is unchanging so I only attended voice training. 

Moreover, if I have time, I increase the number of times I go compared to before. After all, staying at home the whole time, on the contrary, makes my stress pile up. That is why I thought of finding something fun to do, even just one. My family also pays close attention to me, like they tell me “Where do you want to go?”, or ask me “Is there something you want to eat?” I grateful for such kindness.」

When there is a family that supports you, it’s something to be grateful for. Really.

「But, when I took a break… Like, this may contradict what I am saying but the me before I took a break was weak. I wonder if I could have worked a little more harder. So from now on, I want to live strongly.」

So you thought that way.  But Imaizumi’s smile really makes a place more brighter. With just that, it’s “the strongest”.

「Thank you very much. But there a lot of times I think, “I have a weak will”. Until a while ago, even if I think “Okay, I will do my best”, I give up right away saying, “It’s impossible after all”…」

It’s nothing to be proud of but I always think like that myself (laughs). But, seriously, during your break  I wonder if you were  able to take care of both your mind and body. I thought about this the whole time we are together.

「Really? Indeed today I didn’t have time so I couldn’t exercise but I like sweating by moving my body so I try to make time for it within the day. Also for food, I resisted it saying, “If I eat this, I might get fat”. On the contrary, I became stressed so I switched to just exercising away the food I ate. By doing so, I feel like the condition of my body has changed.」

I said this before but you became sharp. Very well-balanced.

「I am happy! Will you call me again for BLT Graph?」

That is if you don’t mind Imaizumi-san. Well, solo is all right but next time I want to see Keyakizaka46’s Imaizumi Yui’s appearance.

「That is true. I want to return to the group as soon as I can for the sake of everyone who has been waiting for me. Also, I want to get back to the handshakes as soon as possible. Because I have made those who were looking forward to a handshake with me to feel disappointed because of my break, I want to show the fans a cheerful appearance.」

The fact that you love handshakes was also talked about during your interview in your first appearance in this magazine.

「Yes. That is why I want to meet the fans soon. But first of all I want to report to the fans through this gravure and interview that, “I am fine~”(laughs) Eh, I wonder if everyone will see it. I wonder if they will read it properly.」

That is a needless worry (laughs) Just like that… As we have already spoken for 1 hour and 20 minutes, I’m thinking about summarizing the talk soon

「Eh~, I don’t want it to end! I don’t want this happy day to end.」

During the start of the  shoot you also said, “I don’t want to go home” (laughs)

「Yes yes I said that! Aah~ Somehow I feel nostalgic like I went to Oshima.」

Hey hey, it’s was just still today. You can’t feel nostalgic yet.

「Ehhh, I just ate a meal at a seafood store in Oshima but I feel like it was already a long time ago. Aaaaah, I want to go to a location shooting again」

That tone now is the same tone during the dressing room hidden camera segment  “Keyakitte Kakenai” where you said “I want to meet Aramura Kasumi-san”.

「How nostalgic! Speaking of that, it has been exactly 1 year. I wonder if I have grown since that time. I want to be told that I have grown. (laughs)」

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Credit

Translator and QC : toomuchidea, hmmero, and ariadne32391

Raw : Weibo @pipi_sa