She started to hate idols, and yet the dream won’t disappear (BRODY February 2018, Imaizumi Yui)

When it was decided that we were going to do a Yuichanzu special feature, there were moments where I realized I wanted to ask Imaizumi Yui, and I couldn’t  get it out of my head. Asking the girl who came back after a 5 months hiatus, and even though she has not fully recovered yet, It took a little bit of courage. 

For an idol group, Center is not everything. I know that. And I know that this question is too ambitious to be asked to idols. 

However, because of the fixed Center with an overwhelming ability to be called a prodigy, this question becomes worthwhile. And thus, despite being inferior to the prodigy, she was born to become an idol, and I figured I have to ask her this question.

And so here, I will ask Imaizumi Yui,

“Are you still thinking of becoming Center?”

Imaizumi-san had been on hiatus for nearly five months since spring. First of all, I would like to hear how you were during your hiatus.

Imaizumi “I was feeling sick ever since last summer and took time off work. I got better, then i got sick again, it kept repeating. And so I reached my limit, both mentally and physically this year. So I told the staff. I said “If I don’t take time off I might end up quitting Keyakizaka46. Please help me”. That was 3 days before the debut first anniversary live.”

And in that condition, you performed in Yoyogi.

Imaizumi “To appear in the live and to take a hiatus after this live were all my decision.”

So in the end, it was your decision? Even for me, it was hard to decide when to take a long break from school or company. However, as a matter of fact, I think that for Imaizumi-san who has a strong sense of responsibility, and does her activities seriously, it was a desperate situation.

Imaizumi “It took courage. I thought I would be better if I quit rather than taking an hiatus, but at that time I had only debuted for a year. When I thought about what comes next, i thought that taking an hiatus was just a short while, so I decided to take an hiatus.”

What do you think was chasing you down?

Imaizumi “I had various problems but I couldn't put it into words well and it started to pile up before eventually blowing up. Yet, I still could not say it and at first I was on my own. I cried alone and I was having trouble sleeping at night. Although I love this job, I couldn’t do it well, and it’s useless. Then, it felt like I got a break.”

When you stayed away from this group for a while, did you hate Keyakizaka46?

Imaizumi “Honestly, I think I did. I did not understand why I was in Keyakizaka46 anymore…. And I panicked on my own. However, there were parts where it was hard for me to talk about to someone else, and I was really worried whether this feeling of mine was okay. I wondered if I can return as I is. It was very hard to get over that feeling.”

I’m sorry to hear that it was hard for you to talk about it.

Imaizumi “It’s okay. I wanted to talk about this because I made my fans worried.  I’m glad that I can talk about it little by little.”

And why do you think you came back to Keyakizaka46 again?

Imaizumi “Hm~ I too want to know the reason but i think maybe it’s because of the good timing.”

Timing? You mean the national tour?

Imaizumi “I knew that everyone was having a hard time during the tour, so I thought that this was the time. On the contrary, if I did not participate in that tour, in my heart, I felt like I couldn’t return anymore. Other than that, I was worried about the feelings of the fans and members about my return but eventually, I decided to return for myself too. Makuhari gave me the push in the back. That was the chance.”

While you were absent, in another interview you said that you have recognized your own weakness, what do you think your weakness is?

Imaizumi “What i feel is that i am too concerned about what other people think of me. Actually, right now, my ear condition is still unwell. That’s why i’m taking absence from music programs for a while, but i’m sure there will be some pros and cons about that. Like ‘If she’s in the senbatsu but she can’t show up, then why did she come back?’. Being told that made me think about it. I‘m worried if members start to think ‘It’s hard to work with Imaizumi’, and I’ll lose heart .” 

Was this the kind of person you were from a long time ago?

Imaizumi “From a long time ago. Due to various experiences, my personality became one that worries too much about what people think. Originally, i was never really good at interacting with people my age. Because i spent most of my time with my brothers.”

But, you always talk the most at the shooting site, and have a bright smile and bright impression.

Imaizumi “Ahahaha! My personality became bright since i entered Keyakizaka46.”

Were you more withdrawn in the past?

Imaizumi “That’s right. I barely talked at school. I’m really glad i entered Keyakizaka46.”

You are incredibly bright, and smile more than anyone.Is that kind of character unconsciously burdening you? As though, you’re forcing yourself to do it.

Imaizumi “No, this is my base personality, so this is the most fun. On the contrary, when i don’t  talk, i feel tired (laughs)”

If that’s so, i’m glad to hear that.

Imaizumi “Even if i was feeling down and depressed before i leave home, when i come to the shooting location, i forget about it. That’s why i like work. My number one stress relief method is to talk to various people at the work site.”

Ever since your return, the thing that i want to ask you the most is “What do feel about the current whereabouts of Keyakizaka46?”

Imaizumi “To be honest, i don’t feel it. I have been absent for nearly 5 months, and during that time  various things have happened that i missed out on and i couldn’t  keep up with the conversation . I feel like i don’t know where i belong. Finding where, is the problem now. Because my relationship with members has not deepened. That’s what i feel right now. Like what i said earlier, i’m worried about what other people think. It’s only in my thoughts, but when i enter the dressing room i get worried about what the other members are thinking.”

I think if you spend the day like you did here today, you won't have to worry about it. Or is it still hard for you?

Imaizumi “To be honest, i’m scared. To tell you the truth, i truly think i have no right to talk about it. Perhaps, it's because we think too much of each other that we can't reach out to one another. I think if either of us took the courage and start talking, everything will go back to normal, but it's just easier said than done..” 

Imaizumi-san, do you think that you matched the world-view of this group?

Imaizumi “There are times where i don’t know what expression should i give when singing Fukyouwaon or Eccentric. But on the other hand, isn’t Sekai ni wa ai shika nai a song full of smiles? Yet, i don’t really smile when i sing it… Also, the way i read the lyrics has changed alot since before and after my hiatus. When performing Silent Majority in Makuhari, a different emotion began to emerge, i don’t know what the reason was, but i wanted to laugh. And when i performed Saimajo on a song program after that, i actually grinned, and i thought ‘You can’t smile!’”

Is it not an original interpretation of Silent Majority by you? And, there’s something else that i really want to ask you about. Please tell me what kind of idol Imaizumi Yui is. Do you still want to become Center?

Imaizumi “Even now, i still want to become Center. Even though i think no one will be happy with me becoming a Center. But, i still want to be one.”

It may not be your original intention, but i think that it’s wonderful to have a dream that was born when you entered this group, even after you took a 5 month-hiatus. Why do you want to stand in the center that much?

Imaizumi "I’m the kind of person that gets unnoticed in a crowd, the type that is placed at the back of a choir. I want to stand in front of people, but i'm scared. That's why i want to discover something new from changing myself, and there's also Oshima Yuko-san, who is the same height as me, who became a Center. Even though she's short, she became a Center. That gives me courage. That's why i want to show to the people out there who want to become an idol, that you can still become a Center despite your height. Keyaki has a lot of tall members, i want to stand as a Center among them.”

The truth is, i was underestimating you. I thought you were going to give an answer like ‘I’m giving up trying to be a Center. It’s not a place for someone who took a hiatus like me’. I’m very sorry!

Imaizumi “Ahahahaha! It’s true that my 5 months hiatus was quite a big gap, but if i can prove that i can be a Center by putting in hard work despite my hiatus, i thought that would be great. I think that by taking a hiatus, my desire to become a Center have grown stronger.”

You, a person who concerns herself about what other people think, wants to stand in the Center that will attract everyone’s attention. Your desire must be strong.

Imaizumi “I’m not backing down. I won’t.”

And why so? Your pride? Your dream?

Imaizumi “There’s also a part of my pride. Even if no one will accept me, no matter what people say, i figured that when i stand in center people will acknowledge me a little. So maybe when i find my place, people will acknowledge me.”

You don’t like to lose.

Imaizumi “Yes, i think so. I'm not backing down (from being a center). I want to see a new view. I have experienced the front row, 2nd row, and 3rd row. The only one i have yet to is center. I’ve always admired it. To stand in center.”

Have you ever thought of quitting being an idol?

Imaizumi “To be honest, a lot (laughs). But i like to sing and dance, i also like being in direct contact with fans in handshake meetings, i thought that i would regret it if i quit. And there were fans who, while crying, told me “Welcome back” or “I waited for you”. When you think about those feelings, you can’t quit easily.”

You said that you have thought of quitting being an idol many times. But, have you ever thought of giving up on aiming for Center? 

Imaizumi “Never!!”

People who have an uncommon way of thinking, usually have reversed emotions and give birth to contradictions. Because, when you stop being an idol doesn’t that mean you cannot be a center? Likewise, you haven’t given up being a Center, and yet you have thought about quitting being an idol, isn’t that weird?

Imaizumi “Certainly (laughs)”

But, i believe that these contradictions are proof that you strongly admire the Center position. And then, for Imaizumi-san’s position that you admire, Keyakizaka46’s Center, is still Hirate (Yurina). Because you are the closest by her side, i figured you’d understand her greatness more than us. And yet, you still aim to become a Center?

Imaizumi “I think that my performance and Hirate’s are totally different. I want to do my best in my own direction.”

Presumably, Kobayashi-san has the same feelings as Imaizumi-san as well. So please tell me the continuation in the dialogue after this.

Imaizumi “I understand! I’m looking forward to it! Ah~ I feel refreshed! I feel like i finally said what i wanted to talk about. Lately, i can’t really say it well. I feel refreshed~!!

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