"I'm back" "Welcome Home" (Harada Aoi, blt graph vol 46)

The girl who was standing on the pier that looked as if she’s going to cross to the other side called adulthood. But no, she stopped just before the front gate. A dialog filled with what happened in one year and three months, one that tells everything.

Welcome back

Aoi: Ah, I’m back~ (laughs)

By the time you come back, 3 members have graduated from the group. I’d like to know how you feel about that…

Aoi: I was told by Yone (Yonetani Nanami) about her graduation ahead of everyone. She said through a phone call, “When Aoi enter university, I’m sure you can do both Keyaki and school. I’m sorry I couldn’t be an example for you”. I told her that she shouldn’t think like that.

Aoi: Yone has a big heart and is a person who I can easily talk to about anything with, whom you can seek advice with. A person who pays close attention to her surroundings and comforts you when you are down. I was saved by her attentiveness many times before so I said “Returning to a Keyaki without Yone in it will feel very lonely”.

Yonetani-san in her last interview said that “Aoi told me not to graduate”. She also said that she wants to meet you once you are done with your examination.

Aoi: Her kindness is overflowing, right? I meet with Yone from time to time and we talk about school. I also receive advice from her, like “If I do it like this, how will it be?” kind of advice. On top of listening to what I told her, she said “I think Aoi should do it the way you want it to be” and gave me a push on the back. She is my senior as a university student, so it’s easy for me to ask her for advice. I really trust her.

Do you also interact with Imaizumi Yui-san and Shida Manaka-san?

Aoi: I receive messages from the two of them. It really makes me lonely that they won't be in Keyaki anymore. 2nd generation members entered the group, and once again we are able to perform the songs in 21-member formation. While I think that fans are happy about it, but an image of “Each member’s position” has been fixed within me. For example in SaiMajo (Silent Majority) there was Yuipon (Kobayashi Yui), Manaka and (Watanabe) Risa in front of me. And next to me, there was Yone. Now 2nd generation members stand on those positions, but I performed it with the feeling that those are Manaka and Yone’s position.

I see. This is just a small rumor, but I heard that at one point you go offline in LINE.

Aoi: Yes. I deleted the icon from the home screen, and stayed away for a while. Keyaki’s LINE group is always active and sometimes the schedule is posted there. It bothered me, so I sent a mail to the staff’s emergency contact saying “I’m going to stop LINE for a while”. At that time I thought that even if I will be returning to Keyaki later and my current mission is to study the best I can. I thought it was something that I had to do.

When I interviewed Risa-san in February, she said “I wonder if Aoi is doing fine”.

Aoi: I once again felt that everyone in Keyaki is kind. At the same time, I also understood what Imaizumi must have felt when she returned. It’s pretty late now, but I thought “I should’ve said this back then” or “I should’ve done this back then”. But graduating doesn’t mean that we won’t see each other again for good. I went out for a meal with Imaizumi, Yone too, and I also met with Manaka.

Aoi: Maybe you can say we are friends who have worked together. By spending a long time together with each other, we have shared our emotions and our relationship has become one where we can meet even when we are already out of the group. I thought about how great that is.

And in the middle of it, Nagahama Neru is graduating at the end of July....

Aoi: I cried a lot when she told me about it. It was probably before she told the other members, before the official announcement… We just happened to meet at the office, and we talked a little but I was very sad about it. Neru is a smart person, on top of that, she has a good personality and her way of thinking is mature. Even when we were working together, she always thought about the group. She is the kind of person that will make you think “Oh so you can do it like that too”. During the time where the members would talk with each other, there is a lot of time when we can sympathize with Neru’s opinions. She is good at expressing herself so I learned like when you say it in this manner, it will be conveyed to people..

Aoi: Thinking that I won’t be doing my Keyaki activity with Neru anymore made me really sad. But I think that the most saddened by it are the fans. But it is the path that Neru have chosen, so I don’t have the right to stop her. I can’t do anything, but what I can do is to stand with her on the same Keyaki stage until the end. It’s really a shame that I entered at such a time. It’s something that maybe won’t happen for a long time, but I hope that one day, the “21” of us could perform again together.

I’d be great if it could become true one day.

Aoi: Truth is during my hiatus, I listened to Nogizaka46's songs a whole lot and become a Nogizaka fan once again (laughs). But there is no change in how I’m truly glad to have entered Keyaki and to have been able to start with those 21 members.

Aoi: I took a one year hiatus for my entrance exam, but I thought that as long as it’s with everyone, I could continue my activity once again. I did think that I don’t fit in this world, the members are also clumsy, but we all hate to lose so we always give our all in performing. I think that it’s wonderful.

Aoi: That’s why it feels lonely to lose Neru. I was told of her graduation just after I finished my examination. Even now, if I can stop her, I really want to. I really didn’t want her to go, that’s how I really felt. It’s sad to see someone go. I hope no one else will leave. Um~. But it won’t be a final farewell, so I hope that Neru can do her best to open a new path in her own way.

Aoi: The truth is, a few days ago (from the interview), me and Neru were planning to meet up. She asked “Where do you want to go?”. I said, “Just meeting you makes me happy already. Maybe we can go to a cafe, or somewhere with a lot of nature”, and she found us a wonderful place to go to! But because our schedule doesn’t match with each other, we postponed going to that place. Well, at least the things that I will look forward to has increased (laughs).”

It seems that you have matured in that part of thinking.

Aoi: Well, the 2nd generation members are entering! (laughs)

I guess so (laughs). Changing the topic, during your hiatus, did you feel like you are not following Keyakizaka46’s activity in detail?

Aoi: That’s why I didn’t know what kind of 2nd generation members entered up until Spring. All that I know is that Imaizumi, Manaka, and Yone is graduating and new members is going to enter. I just knew the basic details of it. And after my examinations, I went to the office to report but I didn’t meet the members. On my birthday this year, coincidentally, I had to go to the office, and I met several members. They told me that my face grow rounder (laughs). Then about a week after that, I went to watch the Anniversary Live in (Nippon) Budokan.

How do you see Keyakizaka46’s live performance as a part of the audience?

Aoi: It felt fresh to be able to see it that way, and in the cram school I attended during my hiatus I could feel that Keyaki’s music is supported by the people of our generation. I overheard someone saying “I don’t like everything about Keyaki, but I’m encouraged by their song”, and I could feel that what we have worked hard in the past 2 years could be conveyed during my day to day activity. That is what caused me to think, “After the examination is over, I’ll do my best in Keyaki once again”.”

I’m sure the members are happy with the fact that Aoi-san is returning to the group, correct?

Aoi: It’d be great if so (laughs). But, in the one year gap where we don’t meet, I think that everyone has turned into an adult. Especially Tecchan (Hirate Yurina), she really has grown mature. I think that Tecchan may be the most saddened with member’s graduation.

Did the two of you talk about that?

Aoi: The truth is that I don’t know what she is thinking, it’s just what I felt.

I see. I think that you were thinking about returning to Keyaki once you were done with your examination and have gone to university, but how did you plan the timing?

Aoi: The date of Osaka’s birthday live coincides with the start of my university, I was wondering what to do… I discussed it with the staff, and I decided to give priority to my academic activities. The next timing after that is the Budokan live, but it was hard to match the schedule and so we decided on Republic of Keyaki 2019.

I asked about this awhile ago, but what do you think of the performance of “New Keyakizaka” that you see from the audience seat?

Aoi: Seeing the 2nd gen members joining, I thought that it really has changed from the old “21 members”. I thought about how wonderful of a group Keyaki is, watching them made me teary eyed (laughs). Also, this is not something that I should’ve said considering that I was the one who took a hiatus, but seeing how the 2nd generation members stood on my position gave me a slightly complicated feeling. Of course, I feel thankful to them for memorizing my place in the choreography and giving a wonderful performance, but like… somehow there’s a bit of jealousy…

Aoi: I truly feel grateful to the fans, members and staff who remembered me when I return. Whenever “Futari Sezon” was performed in a music program or a live performance, Miichan (Koike Minami) always sent me a LINE saying “I want to quickly do high touch (part of the choreography of the song) with you again”. It’s not “When are you going to return?” kind of thing, but it’s more like “I did the high touch alone, and soon will be doing it with 2nd generation member, but I want to quickly do it with you”. It really makes me happy for her to reach out to me during my hiatus like that.

Aoi: For Miichan and for me as well, “Futari Sezon” is a song where the two of us were selected to stand in the front row. It’s a song with a lot of memories in it. It was the song where we sandwiched the Center (in a symmetrical position), so the two of us thought that if we didn’t work hard here it won’t connect into the future. So we spent a lot of time together during “Sezon”, and talk a whole lot too. We went through it together like that, and it seems that Miichan thought that it’s not just anyone could’ve stand on that position. When she relayed those thoughts to me, it really made me happy.

It’s a wonderful story. You performed Futari Sezon on the second day of the Republic of Keyaki 2019 for The Music Day performance, don’t you feel happy about that?

Aoi: The high touch part is on the A melody of the song, and we started performing from the last chorus of the song, so my feeling about it is only half of it (laughs).

Well then, please do perform it on the national tour that starts in August (laughs). Speaking of which, when did you meet the 2nd generation members?

Aoi: It was either Oze-chan (Ozeki Rika) or Miichan that invited me to go to the dressing room. And I went and played around with the other 1st generation members, then the staff asked me “Have you met the 2nd generation members?” and I said “Ah, not yet”. Then they scolded me, “You need to properly greet them” (laughs).

Aoi: And so I greeted them,  “Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Harada Aoi” and I didn’t know what else to say. It felt more like I became the new 3rd generation member. “Ah, I saw you on TV. Please continue to give your best in the next live performance~”. Even I, myself, didn’t understand what I was talking about but oddly enough, since then I have been able to casually talk with Rikopi (2nd generation’s Matsudaira Riko). When I talk to Akanen (Moriya Akane) about it, she always approached us, and just sort of join the conversation.

Aoi: During Republic, Rikopi came and stayed inside my hotel room. She asked, “[While mimicking Matsudaira’s voice] Aoi-san, are you alone? Is it okay for me to go to your room right now?”, and she went to my room right away. And then she said, “Hear me out, please. Naako-san (Nagasawa Nanako) is not playing with me. She’s really into Oda Nana-san. '' Listening to it made me think, “What does it have to do with me…” We had that sort of conversation.”

That person said that she has bad communication skills and is a shy person, but is it really so!?

Aoi: Right? She’s being called the “Communication Monster” (laughs). Aside from Rikopi, during a recording for a music program the other day,  it was Morita Hikaru-chan’s birthday. The 2nd generation members were singing her a happy birthday song. Then I mentioned, “Let’s sing it again with everyone else”. I also took a video of us singing the song inside the dark bus. Then I also played around with Fujiyoshi (Karin)-chan, Matsuda Rina-chan, and Hikaru-chan. Everyone are truly good people. But I haven’t been able to properly talk with everyone yet… (At the time of interview).

What about the youngest member, Yamasaki Ten?

Aoi: Ten-chan is the youngest and also a middle school student, so before a live performance I would encourage her like “Let’s do our best~”. And then she would smile at me. Inoue Rina is at the same age as me, there are a lot of things we can sympathize with each other, but our conversation is still feel stiff.

Aoi: But, I am able to casually talk with (Tamura) Hono-chan. During SaiMajo, Hono-chan stood in Yone’s position, so we were positioned next to each other. That was the reason we were able to talk with each other. Staff asked me which 2nd gen member I often speak with, and I named Hono-chan. And then, the staff told me that Hono chan mentioned that I was easy to talk to and it made me happy to know that.

They are still calling you with “-san”, right?

Aoi: Yeah. Hono-chan and Rikopi are older than me but they call me “Harada-san”, I want them to stop (laughs). [Remembering something] Ah! It really shocked me to know that there are 4 members in the 2nd generation that are younger than me. Matsuda Rina is a year older than me, but it doesn’t feel like we have that age difference (laughs). It feels like she’s going to be angry at me if say this but somehow it's like we are wrapped in the same character. I told her that “At first, I thought that you're a middle schooler~”.”

During the audition, it seems that Matsuda Rina-san continues to do gag consistently.

Aoi: That’s amazing, she's got a strong mental! But I have a heart of glass…

Is that so (laughs)? Then what do you think of Takemoto Yui?

Aoi: Our position is close in AM1:27, and we talked a bit. We also talked at the morning of Republic when we rode the roller coaster together. It's more or less like that now but there will be more interaction in the future with 2nd generation members. I hope we can be friends during the tour.

It feels that the relationship will change with the national tour. Then, the story has finally entered “Republic of Keyaki 2019”. It has become a wonderful place for a revenge performance.

Aoi: I was very nervous on the first day. I have never been put up close like that. I am truly thankful that they welcome me back like that… But they didn't have to spend that long of a time for me so I also feel sorry for the fans. Members are also sending me  pictures from that time in LINE and they tease me about it (laughs).

Aoi: But, seriously speaking, it’s amazing that Keyaki could fill a venue like that. 16.000 people per day is not something easy to do. It is thanks to the staff, to the path Nogizaka-san has made for us, to the wonderful lyrics Akimoto (Yasushi)-san has written for us… I once again realize that it is all thanks to these various people.

It is thanks to the united strength of “Team Keyaki” who worked in the shadows. Then, how was it? Performing “Ballet to Shounen” with the members of 156 after one year and 3 months.

Aoi: It was like “Aah… Yone is not here. '' When you listen to the CD, don't you hear Yone’s voice clearly? While thinking about this, I also thought that returning and being able to do it again with everyone made me happy. Also, I rode a truck for the first time. When I waved my hands at the fans I could see people who have my oshimen towel and also, making a board with “Aoi-chan, welcome back!” written on it. That really made me happy. Thinking about how they supported me, how they waited for me, my feelings of gratitude overflowed.

In the 2nd and the 3rd day, you joined the performance from the start.

Aoi: I feel the more nervous when performing Ambivalent on the second day. First, in the opening performance I suddenly dropped the deck brush. And then, next to me was Fuuchan (Saito Fuyuka), grinning at me. Since it was my first performance, the stage director mistakenly thought that we are a brush short. I had this feeling that it was my fault…

Aoi:  But in any case, we were performing Sekai Ai and then Ambivalent in one block, I was super nervous. Moreover, at that time the dancers taught me that at this timing I should position myself between Koike and Sato (Shiori) and I memorized this setup. I used Miichan’s hair color as a marker, but I missed my timing a little. And because of that, I bumped into Oze-chan or so I was told. But I didn’t notice that becauseI was so desperate about it. When I was told that after the performance, I was shocked like,“No way, that happened!?”

So it feels that you were having the most trouble with the 2nd day.

Aoi: Yes. I was really desperate not to make a mistake. Ambivalent’s tempo is so fast once you do something wrong you can’t make up for it. That’s why I was desperate about it.

You did well on it and that’s amazing.

Aoi: No, no, not at all. I think it’s all thanks to the dancers who always teach me and accompany me.

Is that the hardest song for you?

Aoi: Ah, but the song that put the hardest strain on me has never changed. It’s still KazeFuka (Kaze ni Fukaretemo). Moreover, we often perform the song at the climax of the lives. There’s a lot of steps on it, so it’s a really tough one (laughs). And then, at the Republic during the climax of the song, the wind was blowing right at us, so it was really hard….

So it really used your physical strength in the end.

Aoi: But once I’m done, my physical strength feel surprisingly okay. Compared to that, it’s been awhile that I continuously felt nervous for a couple of days so that part was bigger for me.

And during that time, did you feel that the existence of members are big for you?

Aoi: During the Abunakkashii Keikaku’s crowd hyping MC, it was fun to line up together with Fuuchan, Akanen, and Techi and then jumping up and down. My highschool friends went to FujiQ to watch my return stage and they said that they cried when they see how I happy looked at other members as I danced during Abunakkashii Keikaku. They also said that they laughed at the gap that exist with the usual me. They are girls who only know “Harada Aoi the ordinary school girl”, so I think that they find the strangeness interesting.

Aoi: On the other hand, the staff also commented that “Seifuku to Taiyou” was very emotional. They say that the “Teacher Parent meeting” trio (Hirate, Harada, Koike)* have returned. It made me happy to be told that the transition from Ballet to Shounen and then Seifuku to Taiyou was moving.

*(T/N) Seifuku to Taiyou opens with a choreo where Aoi and Koike act as Teacher and Parent, while Hirate is the Student (the protagonist of the song)

What left the biggest impression for Aoi-san?

Aoi: When performing KataMirai (Kataru nara Mirai wo…) on the 2nd day, when we reach the part where the note drops, there is a choreography where we form a cocoon with our hands. Seeing that made me thought “Oh, I really am performing in a Keyaki live right now”. It was just a spur of the moment but I thought that members supporting each other during the live is something that is Keyaki-like.

That is a view and sensation unique to those who stood on stage as a part of Keyakizaka46.

Aoi: I also thought that during the one year I didn't meet them, they have all grown stronger. Like the experience they get from the end of last year, when Hirate had to take a break and everyone takes turns in becoming Center for Ambivalent. That’s why I thought that everyone is amazing, and that I couldn’t let them continue spoiling me all the time.

Aoi: My position up until now was like the youngest sister and there was this feeling that it’s okay for me to just follow the members in front of me. But now the 2nd gen members have entered… Of course it doesn’t mean I have to act more older sister like, but I have to be more reliable.

Also, it seems that there’s a BBQ in Republic, how was it this year?

Aoi: It was delicious and fun. I spent so much time chatting with Yuipon. We looked back to the live performance that day. As usual Yuipon continue to look forward, and I thought that she really have a strong mental.

I would like to hear that story from Kobayashi-san too. Do you also talk with Takahiro-sensei?

Aoi: Ah, looking at my dancing, he said “It seems to be okay”. Sensei is a wonderful person, if he sees a member being alone he would reach out to them. During my first days of returning, I was practicing alone, Takahiro-sensei accompanied me and told me stories during his time studying abroad in America. That night, I called Yone and said “Today Takahiro-sensei reached out to me”, and she said “He always reached out when we are alone”.

Aoi: Hearing that, once again I realized how amazing and wonderful of a person Takahiro-sensei is. When I was learning the choreography for Ambivalent, he also gave me detailed advice and I was really helped by that. Moreover, during a live performance, he always provides us with snacks. The agar jelly he gave for this year’s Republic was really delicious (laughs).

When you look back on it, you won’t be able to feel the one year and 3 months gap. During your hiatus, did you try to maintain something?

Aoi: Ah, not really… During my hiatus, I truly lived as an ordinary high school student, and I thought that I should have plenty of fun during this time. I went to Disney wearing my school uniform, went to a family restaurant with friends then ordering the drink bar and talked for a very long time (laughs), and also went to karaoke together. I did my best to study for the exam but I also cherished my time with my high school friends. I truly enjoyed my daily life as an ordinary high school girl. Listening to various people’s stories, such as being in love, being worried about career, and being fully into their club activities… I thought that everyone has their own youth and that the time I spent as a 3rd year high school student was precious.

I look forward to the 2nd chapter of Harada Aoi, who has gained a new perspective.

Aoi: Aside from working in the group, I also will be studying as a university student. Even for rehearsals, the staff are adjusting the schedule and causing inconvenience to the members, so I thought that I need to work hard for that. There is a strong feeling that I have to do properly without going easy on myself. If I do both at the same time, the effort put into either of it tend to be half hearted, so I’d like to avoid it. For now, I feel like I can manage it with the help of various people…

You’re a humble person. And what do you think about joining the National Tour again, after a long time?

Aoi: I wonder what… In any case, it’d be great if everyone can safely perform until the last performance. After 4 years of activity, I think that each member has a variety of thoughts and feelings inside them. I was in hiatus, there’s a part of me that got resetted by “feeling the outside air”. There’s also this new thinking that I have and right now I feel like I am working with a fresh feeling.

Aoi: But precisely because the members have continued so long they may have their own worries. If there is someone like that, I want to be someone that is close by their side. And by doing so, I hope that it can become a tour where we are able to convey a live performance that the fans can enjoy while at the same time, the members are also covering for each other and giving back to the staff that have always been supporting us.

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Raw Matthew
Translation toomuchidea
QC ariadne32391