Different than ever (Sugai Yuuka, B.L.T May 2020)

It seems that at some point her negative emotions became repressed. However, sometimes anger could become the trigger. Now that the seal of  her heart has been broken, she is different from before. Come at me if you want. Such state of mind.
 

The experience that you obtained from the days of working on the stage play “Hiryuuden2020” , it undoubtedly became your flesh and blood right?

That’s right, it’s the first time I’ve been given the main role in a stage play, there was an incredible amount of lines and I suddenly entered amongst a group of people who really seriously put themselves into theatre, so  at first, there were feelings of “I’ve got to do this” and that I desperately needed to catch up to them.

 

Apart from Sugai-san, it was a company of males, that’s quite unique isn’t it.

My usual activities are in a female group and I grew up in all-girls schools, so as expected, at the start I felt a bit awkward. But it wasn’t just about the males, as the role of Kambayashi Michiko really roars and pours barrages of passionate lines so first I had to endure that... Or rather, I had to have the power to strike back. There, I first stumbled. Everybody’s energy to let things loose was incredible, even in the stages of training they had already picked up the momentum. Their bellows kept reverberating within my head and I couldn’t sleep. 

Also I had never let out a yell that loud before so there was a necessity for me to rapidly return the lines. I had the intention to speak properly but I couldn’t form words, at first I was told that my voice was like “the cry of bug”. Guidance I received from Okada-san was the importance of first getting into the feelings of the role, I got into the routine of going one-by-one like “Right now, how do you feel?”. Things like being treated coldly by your dad growing up, your mother dying young and not having a place to belong even at home, these circumstances of Michiko were reproduced through the cooperation of all the cast; it felt like those miserable thoughts wallowed within me.

Quite extreme wording and expression was used, how did you digest this?

As expected at the beginning I couldn’t even say  “Mutt” and “Shithead”. But the sentiment behind those kinds of words, when I think about how Michiko is covering up her embarrassment  while in reality she wanted them to be together more, slowly by slowly through practice I was able to say those words. I was practicing saying “You pig!” with full force to Sudō Kōichi-san, and before I knew it I became able to say it (laughs). So when I haven’t given a feeling to the words, I first try to say them with conviction. I learned things such as by doing that, the feelings begin to come to me or I find the switch that completely changes me.

  

The kiss scene also became a hot topic, how did you honestly feel about it?

To be honest, at the start it was way too embarrassing……. I got told by Ishida-san, “I know that you’re embarrassed, it made me shy too”. But when I tried to find and watch videos of the first generation “Hiryuuden” Kambayashi Michiko, Tomita Yasuko, and I was drawn in by her coolness and it was also in the field that I had an interest in so I felt like it was destiny, I thought that no matter what, I want to perform as Michiko. Even going to interviews, I wore dark coloured clothes similar to Michiko to show my enthusiasm (laughs).  

My feelings were very strong but my capabilities weren’t following at all. But the consciousness of the cast around me was that they were following the same lines of wanting to make it a good production, so I also changed my conscience, and thought of various questions. After the training, during the practices, all the young cast members gave their full cooperation. That positive atmosphere felt really good, I tried to not let a single word get away from me and I was constantly taking notes while working.

 

It’s your first starring role and you were the chairman. How did you feel about that?

I was way too immature and I didn’t have any idea of what to do so I was like “Please teach me!”, Mikata-san gave knowledge about being a chairman. I was told “You don’t need words like I’m sorry” a lot, and when I went to introduce myself and greet others he said “You’re a chairman so stand firmly”. Even when we went out to eat and I went to grill the meat he stopped me, “You don’t have to grill it”. “But, you’re not allowed to forget these feelings” he said (laughs). 

I always thought that I had to make it an easy-to-be-in environment for everyone, including the staff, but I was only able to actually translate that into action after coming here (the New National Theatre). When I thought about how to become Michiko in my own way, a girl who was so hungry for love, I felt that’s why she was so sensitive towards kindness…. I wanted to become a Michiko who was full of love so I made a choice to talk to every single person. 

In reality, going up to talk to guys was a high hurdle but here I convey what I think more and more. “That line in that scene, it really stands out” “I like the part where you jump” “I looked at the footage from yesterday, this part was changed wasn’t it”, more and more I’m communicating things that I’ve realised or things that I think are good and before each show I keep in mind to definitely say something everyone. Right before the curtain is raised, everyone hits each other’s backs.

 

That’s the “firing up the spirits” move that is frequently done before Keyakizaka46’s lives?

That’s right (laughs). I introduced hitting each other’s backs and everybody was doing it. By doing that, the scene where Michiko sends the students off becomes very sad. The closer you become to each person, the more painful the farewell becomes. Before performances during the huddle, we used to do “Keyaki Ceremony (where you grab the thumb or pinkie finger of the people next to you and create a circle)”, the atmosphere became more and more cheerful, and everyone started saying it was fun. I thought it would be good if it became something that the staff and the cast would think is worthwhile doing and fun, and quickly that became true.

 

How is it, do you feel as though or are self-aware that you’ve grown from this?

The scenery that I’m looking at now is different to everything before. As this stage play passes it’s become easier to say what’s on my mind, it feels like my sensibility has become richer. Feeling happy at the little things, as expected if I don’t convey what I’m thinking the other person won’t know, I came to think that we really had to face forward together. The me from before could not do this at all. Thanks to that, from now on I look forward to expressing Keyaki’s songs. This goes for the content of “Hiryuuden” too but having read Tsuka-san’s “Atogaki”, I feel as though the things we have come to convey as Keyakizaka overlap a lot. In that respect, I feel glad that I was able to play Michiko and I want to continue to express my experiences more and more.

 

Once the production ends, the full time actors will return to their own work. But Sugai Yuuka-san has a place to return to called Keyakizaka46. In relation to that, what do you think?

When I think about how everyone is fighting on their own, again I feel grateful that I have a place of belonging, Keyakizaka46. After not meeting them for a long time, I was really happy to see the members and I felt that group activities became even more fun. I want to treasasure Keyaki even more. The period of change within the group and training for “Hiryuuden 2020” overlapped, in retrospect it was a bit unstable but it was kind of incredible fate, being able to encounter “Hiryuuden” in that timing let me be encouraged by Michiko. I wondered why I was so weak. Because I was able to become Michiko who led the 400 000 person strong All-Campus Joint Struggle League, I was able to fix up parts that I lacked as Keyaki’s Captain, I’m able to feel that’s it alright now. Without question, I intend to make use of the experiences and things I’ve learnt from this stage play in Keyakizaka. I want the team to get closer to our ideal image and in order to do that I want to talk one-on-one with each of the members. 

 

You’ve become dependable.

After the stage play finished, I went for a meal with (Yamasaki) Ten and we talked about various things. Since before, we kept saying that we should go out for a meal together, and when we tried seriously talking together, I learnt that Ten-chan has been thinking deeply about the group recently, I felt like we were able to fruitfully pass the time. We also talked about the new 2ndGeneration members coming in now, accepting them and working hard together, so I think it’d be great d if we can shift to a good direction. Especially this year in relation to the group, lots of things happened right? For someone around Ten-chan’s age I think it’s been a very big year, and right after “Hiryuuden” ended I also talked slowly with (Watanabe) Risa, I felt as though Risa has also really become an adult. I somehow got the feeling that she managed to overcome something within herself. In the past year, Keyaki weren’t able to release any singles, but because of that, the thought that in our next work we want to show you parts of ourselves that we personally changed and parts of ourselves that have grown, is getting stronger.

 

After leaving outside of the group for a bit, was there something you were able to see?

Due to the experience of the stage play, I want to pursue work even more than before. Of course up until now I’ve had that intention, but I think I was only desperately trying to respond to what I was being told. I want to hone my sense more, I think right now I want to be able to constantly look at different things and give out many ideas. I think I’m probably the type that learns by looking, I absorb them, but right now the desire to see lots of expressions and be touched by them is getting stronger. 

This time I met lots of people, and each person told me about a theatre troupe that they liked or a movie that you had better watch before you die, so as much as possible I want to watch, feel them and take in that stimulation. But rather than just watching it and thinking it was funny, it was amazing, or how I was touched and ended there, I want to think, how can I make this something of mine and how can I make use of this in Keyaki’s activities.

Based on that, now, what are you wishing for?

I wonder what it is…I think I want everyone to stay happy. “People are born to be happy” is something Tsuka Kōchi-san said when he was alive, so it would be nice if someday that kind of day comes. Therefore, I want the members to also have fun during our activities. They dedicated their youths to Keyaki so I want the group to stay as a place where they vividly do what they want. Overhearing from others, 2nd Generation members also each have lots of work that they want to do and things they want to challenge. I want to make it a group that they can feel glad that they joined. There are various activities that I want to be able to do myself, but this time the stage play is the most I’ve ever realised I’m alive, I was able to learn lots of hard expressions so I would like to challenge it again. I think the more different roles I get to meet, the more things I get to learn. Maybe after becoming Keyaki’s captain, I sealed things up like anger and if anything happened, it wallowed inside me. 

It naturally became like that but this time I received advice from Matsui Rena-san, “There is freedom in the training hall, it’s fine to let any kind of expression out. I used to be the same too, so I understand”. I was told by performer Okada-san, “This time because of the anger and frustration, I want you to treasure  it”. It was difficult to crack the seal on my repressed feelings up until now, but you can say that I was immensely saved. It feels as though the things that have been squeezed up are now released. How do I say this…, I’ve begun to like people even more. Now I want to purely believe the people in front of me. Before I was too desperate about myself, my field of vision was very narrow. “Ahhh I can’t do it”, selfishly I became pessimistic, so from now on I want to give myself more allowance and look at everyone a bit more.

 

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Translation: ichikabachika
QC: toomuchidea
Raw @ Weibo