Takemoto Yui interview in Top Yell NEO 2019-2020

Takemoto Yui is respected by her peers and loved by her seniors. Even though she has the impression of having a bright character, no one yet knows the existence of the darkness in her. Because of her past, she has jumped into the idol world in search of light. However, the year 2019 had prepared thick walls for her.

Interviewer：　If you were to write an essay titled "My 2019", what would you write?

Takemoto：　I'd write about the year in which my regular activities as Keyakizaka46 started. Moreover, this was the year that I can think that I became a member in the true sense of the word.

Interviewer：　If you think of it as a whole, was it a plus or a minus?

Takemoto：　I can't decide whether it is a minus or a plus. I really appreciate that I was able to experience various things, and I had fun doing lots of things that I’ve never had the chance to experience in my life. Although, I was not able to get the expected results in each one, as there were parts where I couldn't keep up. Thinking about it, this was a year where I experienced the most frustrating moments in my life because there were numerous things that I was not satisfied with.

Interviewer：　Is that so? I didn't expect you were thinking that way.

Takemoto：　I often regret every single job I had. For example, when I looked at a magazine that I took part in, I saw the poses my seniors made and I thought that I had to expand my repertoire. I also wondered why I was afraid to speak on variety and radio shows. Moreover, my performances had not been impressive. Perhaps everything has happened because I'm lacking confidence. I believe I'm not that kind of person yet because members who stand on stage with confidence appear to naturally shine doing so. This might be the first time, in my life, I had actually hated myself.

Interviewer：　So, up until that time you've always liked yourself?

Takemoto：　I never really had thoughts of hating myself. Don't you think life would be more fun thinking that you like yourself? But I have always felt that I had no purpose.

Interviewer：　You were also thinking that your dance is not skillful enough.

Takemoto：　I'm not skillful at all. I've been learning since elementary school, but I think I was better back then. My commitment faded. I often watch dance videos from elementary school and inspire myself. At that time, I was really focusing and practicing with attention to details. When I was in the upper grades of elementary school, I was very short, about 135cm. Still, I stood out when I danced in a group. Somehow, I did a lot of research since I wanted to dance as dominantly as everyone else. I was very particular about the movement of opening my legs so that it can be wider than everyone else. For that sake, I reached my hand out more and changed the angle to look bigger. I wonder if I was being lenient when I reached high school.

Interviewer：　Have you lost your commitment?

Takemoto：　Basically, I was being soft on myself. This might just bet another story about how it’s good to exert more effort. However, in the past year, whether it’s feeling miserable, frustrated, or wanting to stand proudly on stage, having these feelings is all my fault and no one else. This year, I often think about how everything is my fault, not only about dancing, but as a whole.

Interviewer：　Did you consult with someone about it?

Takemoto：　I might not do it until the last minute. If I need to, I talk to my mother, as I'm the type who can't consult with the members. I often talk about the group seriously with other 2ki, but I couldn't confide my troubles with them, so when I call my mother, I tell her about it. Before I knew it, I was already in tears. I noticed for the first time that it had built up when I was talking with my mother.

Interviewer：　How many times did you call her to talk about it?

Takemoto：　I call frequently. Each time I call my mother, I would cry because of my miserableness and frustrations.

Interviewer：　Who do you usually get calls from?

Takemoto：　I have been getting calls from several people. Somehow whenever I feel lonely, I get calls not only from my mother, but also from my relatives. My family is worried whenever I was busy or tired, but I can only tell them that I can still do it. However, if my mother senses that I wasn't feeling well, she'll send a "can I talk to you?"  in LINE then calls me afterwards.

Interviewer：　You were thinking of grasping a more positive image.

Takemoto：　I have received praises from fans, but I feel really apologetic. I was really depressed this year - I think I did not meet their expectations. I can't be genuinely happy even if they say "Congratulations."

Interviewer：　Then you’re not satisfied with yourself.

Takemoto：　That's right. I would like to further work without hesitation.

Interviewer：　Did you do things without hesistation when you were in elementary school?

Takemoto：　Personally I was a weak child. Moreover, I wasn't good with interpersonal relationships, so I thought that I could only change this while dancing. Besides, I didn't have to think about anything while dancing.

Interviewer：　Did so many unpleasant things happen to you?

Takemoto：　There were instances of bullying, too. I was a child who didn't stand out. I can't talk back after being told something. Rather than bullying, my personal relationships didn't turn out smoothly, but other things were fun. You could say that this is unexpected.

Interviewer：　So, school wasn't fun?

Takemoto：　I finally started to think that it was fun in my 3rd year of junior high school. I didn't want to go to school from elementary school to 2nd year of junior high school. During a school festival in my 3rd year, I experienced a ‘coming together’ with everyone, so it made me gradually think that it was fun. When I became a high school student, everyone grew up and the kids around me calmed down, so I made a lot of good friends. There are still a lot of kids who support me, and I love my friends, school, and teachers in my hometown.

Interviewer：　When you were little, you were a kid who couldn't express herself.

Takemoto：　I liked to stand in front of people. I was in the student council, but there were many unpleasant things that were said and done to me. Now, everything has turned positive and I have become stronger. It wasn't about my surroundings, I was just a very weak person.

Interviewer：　When did you start dancing?

Takemoto：　I did it in 5th and 6th grade of elemetary school then stopped for 3 years of junior high school. I danced sometimes, but I resumed in high school.

Interviewer：　Was it a club activity?

Takemoto：　It wasn't a club activity, but for learning. I auditioned in the summer of my 2nd year of high school, so I did it from 1st year to the summer of my 2nd year.

Interviewer：　Why do you want to dance?

Takemoto：　I did ballet in kindergarten. I liked moving my body to the music. I made a creative dance with my brother and performed it in front of our family. I also made dances with the neighborhood children and danced them. I told my parents that I really wanted to learn, but I was doing a lot of other things already. I was doing different things from Monday to Friday - swimming, piano, 2 days of Kumon… it's not even enough (lol). Anyway, I almost never played with my friends after school. Since I started dancing, I usually went 3 times a week. In elementary school, I didn't want to lose in dancing.

Interviewer：　You were good at it, weren't you?

Takemoto：　I entered a senbatsu group. I went to a place where you can only learn for a week, that’s why I went 3 times a week. So for that I had to go through auditions.

Interviewer：　You seem to have the talent for it.

Takemoto：　My mother was against the audition because she needed to make costumes and take a video. My mother thought it was just a burden. At that time, I just enjoyed dancing. When I joined the dance club in elementary school and went to a local event, an amazing group was dancing. I told my mother that "I want to dance in that group!" What I saw was the senbatsu group.

My mother inquired about it. I went to a trial session at first, and learned that the splendid group that I practiced with was a part of the whole thing. So I asked my mother, "I want to join this group, so I would like to take an audition."

I went to a dance school for the sake of dancing with the group. The skilled people in the senbatsu group were high school students who joined various competitions. I was able to dance in various places. My dance life has changed completely since I entered the senbatsu group, too. I was allowed to participate in the countdown events on New Year's Eve at Heian Shrine, and USJ's Universal City Walk, as well as in competitions held in Kyoto and Osaka.

(T/N Heian Shrine is one of the top ranking shrines located in Kyoto.)

Interviewer：　Consequently, it gave you confidence, right?

Takemoto：　But in that group, everyone has been dancing since the lower grades, and I've only been in it for the last two years, so I'm relatively a new person. It was difficult to get used to the people around me. I didn't know the rules or the awareness of events, nor I didn't know what to do with my hair. I thought that I had to catch up with everyone for the time being.

But the members who joined in the same year as me were kind. Everyone was very welcoming and it was a place that made me grow. It might only be two years, but I'm glad I tried. It surprises me how hard I worked that time. The only thing I did at home was practice dance. (laughs)

Then and there, my teacher taught me, "the person who exerts effort wins." I can tell by the position I have immediately. If I were to work diligently, I could put myself in a good place. By doing that part, I was able to stand in front. For me to think of that was the first time in my life. I am grateful to have a strict but kind teacher.

Interviewer：　It's difficult in the world today because you are not necessarily judged solely by your dance skills. It's a professional world after all.

Takemoto：　I think so, too. I've been dancing, so I'm sensitive about things like being selected or getting previous positions.

Interviewer：　There will be a senbatsu system from the next single. How was it when your name was called?

Takemoto：　For a moment I thought that I was called even though I don't have any ability to accompany it, but that thought was no good. Difficult, isn’t it? If I don't work harder than ever, people might think, "Why are you here?”. Finally, I was able to feel more positive some time after the senbatsu announcement. That happened after the Tokyo Dome Live in September.

My mother also told me, ""I know you're working hard, but aren't the other members working harder? They might be actually working really hard in places you don't know, don’t you think?’. I think that's right.

Interviewer：　What do you do to be satisfied with yourself?

Takemoto：　I've learned that if my mood goes down, it can only go downhill, so I've started to think about how to accept myself and like myself properly. Like working hard with a positive feeling, and facing each job more carefully than ever before. In order to do so, I would like to make sure that I am prepared and that I face them carefully.

Interviewer：　You can't help but keep it to yourself first.

Takemoto：　I came to think of keeping my feelings in check at the last minute, so I won't feel it in my performance. So that it would not outshine the message of the song. It's important to get in, but I've come to think that I have to keep myself out to some extent.

Interviewer：　How was Tokyo Dome?

Takemoto：　There was a feeling of “the first time”. It was the first time I experienced that I couldn't catch my breath because of the tension. In the first song "Garasu wo Ware!" I was really excited just until before the start, but the moment I was on stage, my hands and feet trembled. It felt strange. The moment we swept in to sit down, I've never done that before. I think I stopped breathing there. Up until now, I was the type to be okay if I went on stage.

Interviewer：　That's how the dome affected you.

Takemoto：　I thought it was a great place after all. I felt overwhelmed by the large crowd, and the sense of being seen from all angles.

Interviewer：　You're graduating from high school soon, aren't you? Have you thought about your future?

Takemoto：　At the time of the audition, I thought of going to university, but I didn't have a dream in the first place, so I was very confused. That's when I found the Sakamichi audition.
It was like “I like Keyakizaka46, so let’s apply for it”. That is why, I can't answer when people ask me about the future.

Interviewer：　It's okay to be vague, but do you have something you want to be?

Takemoto：　I long to be a career woman who works to the bone. Being a secretary is good, isn’t it? I want to try experiencing something like "working from morning until night" once in my life.

Interviewer：　Staff-san are laughing, you know.

Takemoto：　Why is that! I also want to work in my hometown. When I was living in Shiga, I didn't really like my hometown. However, when I moved to Tokyo, I came to think that Shiga prefecture is a wonderful place - it’s a city overflowing with love. Whenever I appear in music programs, my friends and teachers are happy. They send their cheers to my mother, and in turn my mother forwards it to me. I hope I could give back to the local people and their families by doing these activities.

Interviewer：　If you were a career woman, you wouldn't be able to do that, right?

Takemoto：　That's right. But I think wearing a suit and using a computer is cool.

Interviewer：　They're laughing again.

Takemoto：　Doesn't it look good? I really admire women who can work, and think that they're absolutely cool. I want to walk with the sound of my heels scratching the ground. Well, I just admire them. (laughs).

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Translation: sunsetstrider
QC: fuyupz, toomuchidea
Raw @ Weibo