Koike Minami interview in MARQUEE Vol. 138

For Keyakizaka46, the year 2020 will be, without doubt, the year of change. The withdrawal of the fixed center Hirate Yurina, the graduation of Oda Nana and Suzumoto Miyu, the hiatus of Sato Shiori, the shocking pattern continues, but, on the other hand, the additional second generation members were announced, the group keeps moving forward. 

Before the full picture of the new Keyakizaka46 is brought to light, on behalf of the first generation, I asked Koike Minami to look back on their path these past 4 years. This interview contains many real words that can be spoken only now, such as “I’m shy, I also think in a negative way”, this story of growth for Koike Minami, at the same time it can be said that it also conveys the reality of the group’s situation. As sung in “Futari Saison”, while grasping the importance of each moment, we’re entering a season of new changes and challenges.

“A group of ordinary girls were gathered”

This time I’d like you to look back to these 4 years of Keyakizaka46. When the group was formed, what was the atmosphere like?

At first, it felt like “a group of ordinary girls were gathered”, I went to an all girls high school, so I thought “It‘s not that different (from school)”, but I was the type that didn’t have many friends to talk to at school, so, on the contrary, I was anxious. Like “How long will it take until we are able to talk?” or “I wonder if there are various types of human relationships?”, I thought such things, so at first I was a little scared.

In reality, did it take a while to get along?

I’m really shy, so I’m the type who builds walls, even if someone talks to me I’ll take a step back, it took me a long time to open up. The group as a whole has many shy kids, there weren’t many kids who are the “Starting from me” type, so we couldn’t really get close.

During this, who did you first rely on?

For me, the presence of Yonetani Nanami was big. At first, the members who were originally from the Kanto area had dance lessons every day, but me and Yone were commuting from the Kansai area, so we could participate on the weekends. During the week I watched the video of everyone and I could only practice at home, so there was a feeling that everyone was a step ahead of me, I was really anxious. But, there was Yone who was having the same thoughts as me, from the start I thought of her as a member who I could confide anything to.

From there, you gradually got to know the other members?

That’s right. Yone is the friendly type by nature, so she often went up to talk with various members. I thought, “Will they think that Kansai dialect is scary?”, so there were many times I didn’t really talk, but Yone included me in conversations with members, I gradually understood that (about everyone), “She is that kind of person”, the “Scary” image disappeared.

From you being just a high school girl in the beginning, when did your consciousness begin to change?

When we still hadn’t debuted, Neru joined, at that time Hiragana Keyaki was created, I had the worry of, “What is going to happen from now on?”, I also had the awareness of “I exist in this kind of world”, or more like, I thought that I would have to work hard. Before Neru joined, for me, instead of “members” it felt like they were “friends”, but like rivals in a good way, or more like a presence I can’t lose to, I thought it would be good if we were able to become comrades who can strengthen each other, that was the moment when my consciousness changed.

“Treasure every moment, the weight of “Futari Saison”

Your debut single, “Silent Majority”, was released in April of 2016. It’s not the “Idol-like” song most people imagine, it was a song with a very strong message and impact, what was your impression at the time?

Everyone originally admired Nogizaka46, I believe we were all imagining idols similar to Nogizaka46, when I first received the lyrics of “Silent Majority” I was like “What?”, I was really shocked. But, there  was also a feeling that the lyrics were absorbed quickly, I was wondering how I could deliver this song so it had the same impact as the one we felt. Furthermore, while the choreography was added, it was there that I felt, somehow it was different from the atmosphere idols had up until now. That’s why it was different from the idol image I had previously envisioned, but I felt as if I was meeting a new me.

At first, did the whole group feel confused?

I didn’t think it would become like the current Keyakizaka46, but everyone said that they liked the lyrics of “Silent Majority”, I wonder if that’s when everyone started to face themselves.

In August your second single, “Sekai ni wa Ai shika Nai”, was released.

For me it’s the most difficult song. In my opinion, this song requires the most expressiveness, so I was troubled by many things. When talking about my growth, I was in the third row for both “Silent Majority” and “Sekai ni wa Ai shika Nai”, so I had no other lines aside from the chorus, it was like I was forced into reality, I was really frustrated. That’s why I thought I had to show more of my individuality, I thought I had to face myself more, during the period of this single I was forced to think about various things.

For the third single, “Futari Saison”, you stood in the front row for the first time. Considering the history after that, I think this song is special in many ways for Koike.

That’s right. During the time of the music video shooting, director Shingu said “Shooting this song in this way now, even Keyakizaka46 having 21 members, it only exists in this moment”, “Futari Saison” really is that kind of song. It’s not certain that I can be with everyone like this right now, we work together while bearing various thoughts, but there’s also kindness when parting, I have to treasure every moment, I felt like that’s what this song taught me.

The meaning of this song is becoming even more prominent.

I didn’t realize it that much back then but, “It’s not certain”, that thought was always in the back of my head, somewhere I kept thinking “I can keep working with everyone from now on”, so I couldn’t fully grasp the meaning of the song back then, that’s what I think now. After receiving such a wonderful song, it was a time when I thought preciously of everyone, that’s why there are also times when I feel like going back to this period one more time, there are also times where I become sad. It’s a song that really resonates with the current Keyakizaka46.

After your first one-man concert at the Ariake Coliseum, the year ended with your first appearance in the "Kohaku Uta Gassen".

I watched Nogizaka46 during the 2015 “Kohaku” at my house, I thought “It would be nice if I could appear someday”, but I could never expect I would appear the next year. Even the fact that “Silent Majority” had reached various people, I didn’t really realize it back then. When I heard my hometown friends say “I like this song”, I thought in the back of my head “Even my hometown is listening to it?”, I also thought, “Maybe because they’re my relatives?”, I didn’t really have the awareness that it was so widely known, to think that so many people had listened to this song to the point we could appear in “Kohaku”.

But I thought “It’s because of Nogizaka46 that we were able to appear”, I thought that it wasn’t just because of our own power, I wanted to convey my gratitude, because it’s a program that people of all ages watch, I wondered how much we could grab people’s hearts, I thought of it as a competition, it wasn’t just about delivering a song, I sang while carrying many different emotions.

Your debut year, it was a fast-paced year wasn’t it. 

It was a year when our schedule was packed, in a thankful way, there were also times when I hated myself, there were also moments when I was bad with the members, but throughout the year we were able to understand each other. Not even one year had passed since our debut, we were able to experience so many things, we were able to release three singles, we also appeared in a drama, we also had a One Man (live concert), I thought, “Then, these experiences, how will I make the most out of them next year?”, it was a year when I felt really thankful for each and every thing.

The first nationwide tour where the situation was thrust into light

At the start of 2017 the captain and vice captain were assigned, Koike-san became a regular at “The Hit Studio”, the individual activities were gradually increasing, I wonder if it was a time when each member had a growing sense of responsibility.

At that time I couldn’t put myself out there on “Keyakake” well, I tend to close myself in my shell. That’s why when it was decided that I would become a radio host regular I was really anxious, Yoshida Terumi-san is a completely different age than me, I thought “Will we be able to talk together?”. But it was a Showa Kayo program that I liked, so we could talk about songs, Terumi-san is good at keeping up the conversation, he’s very easy to talk to, I thought “I can even use Kansai dialect”.

My facial expressions can’t be seen so I was also able to learn how to express myself just through my voice, I was able to experience many things through doing the radio, I noticed saying to myself many times “You’re talking a lot, me”, I noticed that I had confidence to talk even, during “Keyakake” , I was given a great opportunity.

In April “Fukyouwaon'' was released, it was also a song that had a determining impact on Keyakizaka46’s image.

Personally speaking, at that time the formation really got to me, even though I was in the front for “Futari Saison”, I returned to the third row, I had thoughts like “It’s starting again, huh?”. But, this song was also a song that could express that annoyance within me, it was like the moment that I opened the door inside of me, or rather it was the first time I put my emotions into performing. Up until then it was like, “Do I have to do this expression?”, that’s what I was thinking in my head, but I let my emotions take control of my dancing, I think it’s a song that can express this, personally, it’s the easiest song that makes you focus on the performance and it feels good.

What was your impression of the lyrics and the world view?

The “Boku wa iyada (I hate this)” before the chorus surprised me a lot at first, the feeling of rebellion even stronger than “Silent Majority” was amazing. That’s why at first I wondered “It’s going to make a great impression, right?”, I was really curious as to what people thought about it. To be thought of as “scary”, honestly I was uneasy.

Did you have a conversation like that with the members?

No, I wasn’t able to talk about that kind of thing with the members. At that time I thought of everyone as a rival, I thought “I’m the only one that can strengthen myself”, there were also occasions when I shut out myself. I hated talking about my emotions so I don’t really know how the members felt at that time.

But, as a group you continue to gain momentum, following the release of your first album “Masshiro na mono o yogoshitakunaru”, you had your first “Keyaki Kyowakoku 2017”, furthermore, your first National Tour, the scale of your activities continued to expand.

Kyowakoku is a performance where we can communicate a lot with the fans, it’s a concert where we use water and water balloons, it’s not something like “Delivering Keyakizaka46’s songs”, it has evolved into something we enjoy with the fans, since it’s also an outdoor production I feel like it’s really growing. Even when thinking back on it now, I think the 2017 performance was really amazing, especially the “Fukyouwaon” at that time. A concert to the point of thinking, “This was a concert I want to exceed”.

What about your first National Tour?

I think the tour was a catalyst for various worries even up until now. I was very happy to have our first Tour, but there were times Hirate was absent, it was like we were realizing the current situation for the first time. When Hirate isn’t in this group, we thought, does it look like we’re not able to carry on? At the stages where Hirate was absent, her position was left blank, that was really frustrating, even though there are so many people, it was like the eyes of the fans and of the world were focused on Hirate, there were many times when I was made to feel like we weren’t enough. That’s why it wasn’t just fun, it was also the beginning of distress, and personally it was a Tour of battling the suffering.

The larger the group grows, on the contrary, we are more likely see the aspects we lack.

For Hirate herself as well, not being able to move her body expected, not being able express well, it was a Tour where the fans also understood that, there was a feeling that some fan’s expression began to change, that was also frustrating for me. I thought that it was embarrassing that the fans could understand the physical condition of each member, so it was frustrating. It had only been merely a year since our debut but, until then we still had not faced obscurity, gratefully we kept moving forward, but I thought it could all go down easily. Even though it takes time to get to the top, it only takes a moment to fall down, I felt a great sense of crisis.

Regarding Hirate’s physical condition, she appeared at the end of the year “Kohaku Uta Gassen” with “Fukyouwaon”, but couldn’t appear at Budokan which was scheduled for the start of the year. It was a frustrating period wasn’t it.

After “Kohaku’s” “Fukyouwaon” was over I was really dazzled, my mind was also blank, I felt like, “Did something happen?”. For a while I was too scared to watch the video, when I watched it on the internet it was like, “As expected, that’s how it was”, or rather I thought, “That was terrible”, like “Everything is over”. That’s why, personally for me, the start of 2018 was too horrible, I returned to my parents’ house on the first train, even at home I didn’t feel like doing anything, I thought, “We can’t change this image anymore”.

Neither in a good nor bad way, it went accordingly to Keyakizaka46’s image, even though we were the ones conveying the songs, I thought that we shouldn’t be affected by them, but it felt like it ended up that way. I thought “Can I keep continuing to do activities here from now on?”, I didn’t know the right way to move on......It was really scary.

The worst start to 2018, and the resurrection from there on

Even so, the activities as a group continued, on March of 2018 “Glass wo Ware” was released.

When I received the song, I thought it was a song that pushed Keyakizaka46’s image, but, for me, I still had a lot of parts that I was lacking in, so I couldn’t naturally accept the song, I didn’t know how to convey it. The members, the group, myself, even though it was the time I had to face them the most, I became unable to understand anything. Just like the lyrics said, everyone was gradually breaking their own glass but, I couldn’t break mine at all, besides, I was closed off in my shell, I guess I was lost in a maze.

Even though your position was in the front......

I didn’t think of it as something happy, I was wondering, “Why am I here?”.  Like, “Even though there are other members who are more fitted for this position”, I ended up thinking about everything in a negative way.

How did your consciousness change from such a state?

During the Second Anniversary Live, Hirate and Manaka couldn’t appear, I thought “It’s going to be like the National Tour again isn’t it”, but centers were decided for all the major songs, for me as well, for the first time I was assigned the center of “Futari Saison” with Aoi, at that time I understood Hirate’s feelings for the first time.

For the first time I thought that the number 0 position is completely different from the other positions, one person is bearing many types of pressure, at the time I finally realized Hirate’s feelings that I had noticed until then, I felt stupid for closing off myself in my shell for three months, in a way, it opened up my eyes. I was assigned the role of the substitute center, I was able to think of myself as a part of Keyakizaka46 for the first time, I noticed that there is a position for each and everyone regardless of the formation. With that said, Hirate’s “Futari Saison” is really great, I was also had troubles like, “Can I do it the same way?”.

I think the trigger for dispelling that feeling was probably the final performance of the national tour of that year, the Makuhari performance. Hirate fell from the stage and while she was rushed to the hospital, Koike-san did an improvisation of the “Futari Saison” solo dance.

At that time I really didn’t think about myself, I only thought about the members and Hirate. I honestly thought that the fans would hate me. Since everyone loves Hirate’s “Futari Saison”, I wondered if people would think “What the hell is she doing?”. But since we had each centered for the Second Anniversary Live, I should have been strong, but I wondered if it would be okay  to do the same as last year’s Tour. Furthermore, because that day was the concluding performance (of the tour), I was wondering if I should leave it as it was, full of anxiety. That’s why, I thought a lot up until the solo dance part, will I be hated, or am I going to make it just like last year’s Tour, I was torn between these two choices.

As a result, I believe that this solo dance became a big trigger for Koike.

At that time I thought I did something really bad, after the closing performance was done, I apologized a lot to TAKAHIRO-sensei and the stage director. When I did that I was met with a gentle, “That’s not the case”, other members also told me, “Thank you”. For the first time, before thinking about what the world’s perception will be, I thought that the members were important, what I did wasn’t a mistake, it became one of the trigger that gave me confidence. It was like I realized “this type of me exists”, that there’s a part of me that hates losing. That’s why, it was the moment I thought again, I need to heighten my performances.

It was said that 2018 started from the bottom, but with trial and error, you grew little by little, and I wonder if it was a year that reaffirmed your love for the group.

Really, since 2018 my love for the members has been overflowing, to the point where I thought that I didn’t actually have an objective for the past two years. I wondered why I thought of everyone as enemies and rivals.....Even though even now I think of them as rivals in a good way, but it’s different from an enemy. By talking to each other, I learned things about myself, I could connect to myself from the future, but I could only believe in my own opinion.

With members graduating since the latter half of 2018, it seems like this feeling has become even stronger.

While thinking, “It’s not certain”, somewhere I still thought, “This is certain”. I believe that there was a moment when I realized it, even before the graduated members left, it’s really frustrating but, I really have to treasure each moment, I think of this from the bottom of my heart.

The union with the second generation, the announcement of the senbatsu, Tokyo Dome

Going into 2019, “Kuroi Hitsuji” was released. This song’s lyrics can be interpreted in various ways, what’s your impression?

The first time I looked at the lyrics I thought, “What a song”, I couldn’t see the light, I was thinking in a dark way. Even my role in the music video, it was a girl that was the type who had troubles close to despair, I got too into character, I didn’t think of everyone as members again, I felt like I was going back to my previous state, even during shooting, I was hiding in the corner of the lockers and couldn’t stop crying.

That’s why, I wasn’t trying to express myself, I naturally entered the world of the song, it was a music video where I performed without thinking, it was something that was only possible because of what accumulated up until then. It was different from the time of “Glass wo Ware!”, I didn’t dislike standing in the front, rather, I strongly thought “I want to convey this song”. However, we still haven’t had many opportunities to perform this song yet, even though we performed it at the end of the year, I get way into it, that’s why it’s a song I can’t escape from.

As we said in the middle of our conversation, Keyakizaka46’s songs can pull people in, so it’s always a challenge of how much you can control yourself after entering the world of those songs. Also, since the Third Anniversary Live the second generation has joined earnestly. I wonder if you think it’s a big change compared to the current Keyakizaka46?

The positions of the members that have graduated up until now had been left blank, so there have been times where I have felt sad seeing that, but regarding the second generation covering those positions, I think that the meaning of the songs changes again, the atmosphere has also changed, I also dance differently compared to when it was just the first generation. I think that the second generation members are also feeling anxious.

At first, it seems like the second generation that that they weren’t going to appear in the Anniversary Live but, after talking about with the members, Ten-chan said, “The second generation members want to appear as well”, since everyone loves Keyakizaka46, they carry strong emotions, I think they are wonderful members. In fact, they performed while aligning themselves with the title songs, even after watching the videos again, each one of them has a burning passion. Even though they are still powering up, at the point of the Anniversary Live, they performed with such expressions, that wouldn’t think that they had just entered. That was really great motivation for the first generation, the way we’ve been going up until now is no good, it was the trigger that made us face ourselves once again.

Also, in September last year, as an additional performance of the National Tour, you stood on the stage of Tokyo Dome. I think that standing on the stage has its own meaning,, looking back on it now, in an even stronger sense I feel as though it was a breaking point. 

I thought this could be the only time we get the chance to stand in Tokyo Dome, so I gave my full power during those two days starting from the rehearsals, I challenged it to the point of dedicating my life to it. Also, what was big aside from that day, was the announcement of the 9th Single Senbatsu during the summer. The fans didn’t know that the announcement had been made yet, but before the Dome there was an announcement on “KeyaKake”, everyone came to the Dome even on top of knowing this, for me who didn’t get into the Senbatsu I thought of it as a chance for me to be seen once again. That’s why, it wasn’t just like “I want to convey the songs” or “It’s fun”, I did it while carrying strong feelings. Yukka often says, “Growing muscles in your heart”, it was the same feeling for me.

Of course, there was also happiness standing on that stage, but it wasn’t just that.

For me to have a position, to be able to stand on stage and express myself, once again I thought about how grateful I was. I often think in a negative way, so there were many times I was troubled and thought, “I want to do it more like this way”, when I think about it now I’m grateful for those troubles. That’s why, I was able to stand on stage while carrying many different thoughts.

For the group as a whole, what kind of meaning did these days hold?

Since the rehearsals, those were days where each and every one of us faced our challenges with resolution. Just entering this year, I had no idea about members withdrawing, graduating and going on hiatus, I didn’t think, “Here is our break”. Thinking about it now, it seems frustrating.

Into the season of new changes and challenges

The announcement of the Senbatsu happened in summer but you also went to China to shoot your photo book, which came first?

The photoshoot came first. Then, I returned, Kyowakoku happened, and after that it was announced.

Then, the ups and downs of your feelings were pretty intense. 

I can’t blame anyone regarding the senbatsu announcement, I just think that there were many parts of me that are still lacking, I thought of it in a negative way for the first week, but I got over it relatively quickly......Even after saying that, seeing everyone’s smiles during the Tour rehearsal became painful again, it felt as though I was going to build up my walls again. But, I thought it would be embarrassing to show such a figure as a senior, on the contrary, I took this as an opportunity, it was a period when I learned various things, I was able to think about it in a positive way.

Becoming able to think in that way, turning twenty, making a photobook, those are most definitely big things, but talking with you now, it seems that the presence of the second generation is also big. From now on, additional second generation members will also join, what do you think of the Keyakizaka46 to come?

The second generation is adding each of their own power, the first generation is also really inspired by them, I think there are also members who are panicked by it. While supporting each other now more than ever, I’d like to properly face myself. I don’t know which way we’ll walk towards yet, but I’ll keep treasuring all the good parts of Keyakizaka46 has had up until now, on the other hand, I believe we also have to change, so I want to take on those new challenges. Changes are really scary, but I think that they’re very important now, that’s why I want us members to support each other and do our best without fearing changes.

Do you have hopes such as, “I want to sing this kind of song”?

I like “I’m out”, this song’s lyrics are strong but the melody is refreshing, in the end, I don’t think of it as dark. I believe there are many people who think of Keyakizaka46 as “cool” or “dark, but, personally, moving forward I think it’s better not to be so gloomy. So it’s not like I want us to suddenly become refreshing (laughs). Since Keyakizaka46 has many wonderful songs aside from the title tracks, in order for everyone to get to know them, I’d like to continue to take on new challenges.

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Translation: SatoneShichi
QC: ichikabachika

Raw @ weibo