Sugai Yuuka solo interview in Bessatsu Kadokawa Keyakizaka46 / Sakurazaka46 1013/1209

 

As the Captain of Keyakizaka46, she has been leading the group until now. For her who has been taking the brunt of the big aspects of the group, including the renaming announcement in July’s online live, “Keyakizaka46 The Last live” held in 12th and 13th October was not only their last live performance as Keyakizaka46, but an event of many meanings.

"It was the first time for Keyakizaka46 to have a different setlist in 2 days, and I think that we are able to cover almost all the songs, so I thought we would have a sense of accomplishment if we could do it. But at the same time, because it has a completely different menu in 2 days, I was worried about how difficult the rehearsal will become (laughs). Many original members had graduated, and the 2nd generation had joined, so it felt like we’re recreating all the songs from scratch.

Of course it was our last as Keyakizaka46, and it may also be our last time performing Keyakizaka46 songs. So far we have shown performances in various places, this time in particular we worked hard since the rehearsal, focusing on the quality to make people think “In the end, it was the best performance of all the songs so far”."

She said that the rehearsal, compared to the past live performances… There were moments where she felt differences… In good and bad ways.

"The rehearsal this time went very well. Until now, for some reason, we would barely manage to do it in time, but this time we were very enthusiastic about it; like how the 2nd generation girls checked the video in advance, every day we are able to do two more songs than planned. I got the impression that the atmosphere on location accumulates and gradually gets better. We were relaxed in a good way, without being too worked up, fooling around when we did (laughs). On the contrary, there was a feeling that we are having so much fun, we have to be stricter about the atmosphere.'

Rather than a gloomy atmosphere because it was their last, the whole event seemed to be filled with a positive atmosphere of enjoying the two days to the fullest. In fact, during the three months between the announcement of the name change and the last live, every time I spoke to Sugai I would hear her say, "The atmosphere of the group is very good, and the sense of unity is growing stronger and stronger," and that positive atmosphere seems to have intensified toward the last live.

"That is very much true. For example, I actively created opportunities for us to talk, and when I suggested “Let’s do this more like this” or “We want to make a rule like this here”, the 2nd generation girls would actively answer, like “We also feel the same way”. It may be difficult for them to start a conversation, so if we bring it up first, they are very open to it… As a Captain, that feels very reliable, and I feel that such aspirations naturally spread and grows the warmth of the group.

And while the new 2nd generation girls didn’t get a lot of chances to perform, however few it had been, they practiced very hard, and I really felt that we were all heading in the same direction even more.”

The best atmosphere was probably created to put a successful end for the group. However, the atmosphere would gradually change before the show.

"We were rehearsing whilst doing various other jobs, so there were some moments when we’d lose our concentration, or we seemed to loosen up. At those times, I had to remind everyone "How many more days do we have until the show!”, and I tried my best to keep everyone uptight.

In that situation, everyone felt shocked when Takahiro-sensei said, “Keyakizaka46 has been actively work while putting emphasis on performance so far, but this is the first time I felt that the quality has decreased” after we finished our rehearsal right before the show. So the 1st generation members took the lead as we thought again about the song, and in the last minutes pulled ourselves together again to finish the song with an aggressive attitude.”

After regaining their fighting instincts, they entered the first day's performance with a set list that highlighted their "Keyakizaka46 worldview". The lack of a single MC part seemed very stoic, but for Sugai, who has been acting as the one who keeps the conversation going, this consideration was something she appreciated.

“I’ve always wanted to concentrate on my performance, but I would be worried about the next MC session during a song, so often I would think about the content of the MC session after. On the first day, there was no MC, so in that sense, I was able to truly enjoy the songs for the first time. With that in mind, the first day was much more fun than nerve-wracking. It was the first time I've ever felt that before (laughs).”

For her, the biggest highlight of the first day's performance was "Fukyouwaon", where she acted as the Center. It's a song that carries significant meaning for Keyakizaka46, and an important one that has defined the group's public image. When Hirate Yurina was absent from "2nd YEAR ANNIVERSARY LIVE" in April 2018, Sugai served as the Center of this song for the first time, but did facing this song after two and a half years give her any new realizations?

"Until now, Fukyouwaon would be performed at the end of the show, but this time it wasn’t, so I thought that was new, and thought that I’d have to be able to properly switch over my feelings as there was a ‘next song’.

When I first acted as substitute Center for Fukyouwaon in “2nd YEAR ANNIVERSARY LIVE”, the performance’s quality aside, I felt like I struggled to the death doing it, so I must surpass myself from back then, it will be our last one so I also felt wanting to show the best performance so far. But two and a half years have passed since then, and I’ve lost connection with the feelings of “Boku wa yada” from back then. At that time there were many things, such as Hirate’s absence and our public image. And it also overlapped with the feeling of “dislike” I have for myself, and the feelings of wanting to show that we can do it even without Hirate, that I don’t want Keyakizaka46 to end.

However, what I felt during this rehearsal is how very peaceful my mind is, far from the energy and rebelliousness of the protagonist of "Fukyouwaon", and it's difficult for me to be "boku" at my age. And when I asked Takahiro-sensei “I couldn’t get my feelings to become ‘Boku wa yada’”, he said, “Then, why don’t you change it to ‘Boku wa iiyo’?” (laughs). When I imagined myself saying that, I thought that it didn't feel right. And then he said, “See? Then, in the past 5 years I’m sure that as a Captain, Sugai has lost many things and there’s a lot you couldn’t say because of your position. This is the last time, so you can leave it all behind in the venue!”. It strengthened the feeling within me, and I screamed out with my own feelings on the day of performance.

But… Despite thinking that I don’t want Keyakizaka46 to end in 2nd YEAR ANNIVERSARY LIVE, in the end it wasn’t realized, and I feel driven by remorse… It’s not a regret, but I wondered if it was my lack of power, and most of all, it might be a “Boku wa yada” that was filled with anger towards myself. In the last refrain, the feelings of "I wish people would understand more, but why won't they get it!" exploded, and before I knew it I dragged out the “Yadaaa---!” (laughs). At around “Mou Mori he Kaeruka” my troubled mind calmed down, because I let it all out as well. "Fukyouwaon" was followed by such beautiful songs, so maybe there was a therapeutic effect (laughs)."

On the other day, the setlist for the 2nd day contains many bright and calm songs, with members shouting louder than ever in the first song “ Abunakkashii Keikaku”, and then in the following song “Te wo Tsunaide Kaerou ka?” the customary small skit between Sugai and Moriya Akane utilized the entire venue that resulted in more comicalness

"On the 2nd day, we have a lot of true-to-life songs. Regarding the loud voices, we have been particular about it since the rehearsal, and Takahiro-sensei also continuously tells us that until before the performance, so in the show I hear the loudest voice we ever did so far. Because there were no audience in front of us, we did it hoping that it would reach them through the screen.

For “Te wo Tsunaide Kaerou ka?” the set on the floor of the venue looked like a city, and it was fun for me and Akane to go around while acting out the small skit. We also rode go karts, and had the new 2nd generation girls join in. I remembered how we had fun dancing the song in our early days, and had a great time performing it."

That’s why the lyrics of “Futari Sezon” that followed these two songs touched her heart more strongly than ever

"Because the first two songs were fun, the following “Futari Sezon” was very sad, and the lyrics of the song were the most poignant so far. The phrase “At the moment we parted, I was taught that by you”, I felt our farewell with Keyakizaka46 even more strongly, and during the song, when my eyes met with Sato Shiori who will be graduating from the group that day, we both burst into tears, and I sung it as my chest tightened"

On the 2nd day of performance, the first performance of “Sajin” was also prepared. This song had a special meaning for Sugai

"“Sajin” was the first song where I was given the Center position, not as a substitute. This was the first song that we practiced when rehearsal started, and because I’m Center, there is no one in front of me, and although I had to be strong, I couldn’t seem to remember the choreography and I felt frustrated… I felt down from the first day of rehearsal (wry smile). I feel that the lyrics of the song is the beginning of love, but I didn’t know to whom it was sung for. When I asked Takahiro-sensei about it, he said, “Don’t you think this song is about what you feel about “Boku” until now?”

Until now, “Boku” had always been the protagonist, and even in formation I had always been singing from the other side. But as time went by, in a place where dust flies by, I who had always been looking at “Boku” finally was able to empathize and understand “Boku”s feelings. But I don’t imitate it, instead I learn from it… That is my interpretation. When I thought the song was about the refreshing feeling of "going my own way," it made a lot of sense to me, and I started to see the lyrics differently. Takahiro-sensei said that “This is Keyakizaka46’s ending song”, but as we performed “Fukyouwaon” a day before, I felt that is is the time for this song, to go beyond that and head toward the future."

On the 2nd day, before “Silent Majority” that will be the last song performed by Keyakizaka46, the only MC session in two days was prepared, where Sugai shared her thoughts. How did Sugai feel about that MC and the final song "Silent Majority" that was performed by 27 members?

"For such an important MC, I usually think of what to say beforehand, but that time I couldn’t come up with anything at all. There was a big feeling of not knowing what will happen unless I do it, and more than what I expected, I couldn't hold back the tears (laughs). That’s why that time I honestly spoke about what I felt in that moment.

Throughout the two days, I remembered many things about each song. On “Kataru Nara Mirai wo…” on the first day, I could sympathize with the lyrics that think about the future, in particular “There's only self hatred in the past”. On the 2nd day, I was so moved by “Futari Sezon’, perhaps feeling like that for the first time. It feels like we finally received an answer to the phrase “Keyakizaka46 is not forever” that has been said since the time of MV recording. I talked with the feelings I felt during the live performance as well.

That’s right, in “Seifuku to Taiyou” Pe-chan (Watanabe Rika) cried so much, you know? (laughs). I felt moved thinking that Pe-chan, who is always calm, does actually have a strong feeling for Keyakizaka46 and perhaps filled with those feelings in this song. After that, when everyone tapped me on the shoulder, it was already difficult for me to hold back tears since the rehearsal. Moreover, during the show, they said words that they didn’t say during rehearsal like “Thank you”, “Good job”, “and “I love you". I thought that I couldn’t hold it back anymore (laughs)

After all, 5 years is truly some time, and when I look back on it, including the things I enjoyed and the things I regretted, I think it was a very necessary period. I'm very grateful to have been able to continue Keyakizaka46 for 5 years with the support of many people, especially during the MC, I felt truly glad to be a member of Keyakizaka46. That's why I think the following "Silent Majority" may be the best performance I've ever given."

This last live show not only shows the last moments of Keyakizaka46, but also the first step toward the future with the new group, the first performance of Sakurazaka46’s debut song “Nobody’s Fault”. After a long bow, a teaser video for Sakurazaka46 was shown, and the 14 members, dressed in new white costumes, took the stage. She talks to us about the story behind it.

"Rather than thinking about myself, I wondered about whether the audience could switch their feelings about the show. My heart felt overwhelmed, and when I was bowing, past memories would come back to me, and I was immersed in that “Aah, I really do love Keyakizaka46” feeling. But after that I rushed thinking “The next costume is the white one!”. But my feeling of wanting to show it properly here became stronger, and together with the song and lyric my feelings naturally changed to “Follow us from now on!” as I danced.

The atmosphere of the costume changed drastically, and Morita Hikaru-chan’s Center was very impressive, and it was a song that we had practiced a lot for, so I think that we were able to show the best that we can do at the time. But in Keyakizaka46, a song has always evolved since the first time it was performed, so in Sakurazaka46 as well I want us to improve the quality in every performance, and I think that everyone will have a different impression of it once they see the MV, so I'm looking forward to seeing how it will grow from here.

There are only 14 members in the title song, but the formation changes in other songs, and there are still many amazing members in waiting, I'm also very excited about the colors of Sakurazaka46 and how we will create our identity."

They won’t be starting from zero, but they will be restarting from the scratch with the 5 years long experience they had in Keyakizaka46, so there is no better presence to rely on than this.

"In the beginning, I thought that we should carry the feeling as if we are starting from zero, but I think the members that have hold on since the time of Keyakizaka46 until now are very strong, and we all have a strong bond, and I feel that we have created a very strong root for that bond. Now we just have to work hard and challenge ourselves in many ways to make the flowers in our likeness bloom.

At first I was very sad and hated how Keyakizaka46 had to end like this, but when I thought about the possibility of taking on new challenges, I felt that this is the only time to change. The things that I always want to change but couldn’t quite possibly do, or the things I think are difficult to change are being reset, and I had a strong feeling that it was going to be a good direction. And I felt that it’s not just me, but everyone else might be feeling the same way, so now that we are able to put it into action, I felt once again that the five years we had as Keyakizaka46 was not a waste, and I had grown up as a person, and we have all grown up.

But first of all, I want to express my big gratitude to everyone who watched the live stream. That’s why I definitely wanted to make it a good live performance. I really understand that we must have given the people who are in Keyakizaka46’s side a painful time for a long time. I'm sure that if I were in the position of someone who supports myself, I would be shocked and disappointed, and we have been making them wait. That’s why with this show, I want them to feel “I’m glad I followed them so far”, and also share our expectations for the future. 

So now I’m feeling a sense of accomplishment I didn’t really get to feel before. It’s just been a few days since the live ended, and I don't have a chance to hear directly from the fans, but I hope to see them again when we are active as Sakurazaka46, and talk about it... That's what I'm thinking now."

So what kind of existence was Keyakizaka46 for Sugai?

"Eh~ It’s very difficult to express in one word (wry smile). First of all, it really changed my life, and because of that the world I see was completely changed. Looking back... it was the best of youth, every day was shining.

Before joining Keyakizaka46, I had a personality that would run away at once if something happened, and I thought I was spoiled by the people and environment around me. But after joining Keyakizaka46, I was able to see many worlds I never knew before, meet a lot of people I never met before, and learn a lot of ways of thinking I never knew before. I’m still immature, but there is no doubt a big change of heart has taken place within me, so I'm very grateful to a group named Keyakizaka46, and it was a five years I will never forget.

When you think about it, the last five years have been a fortune in my life. I've really made a great fortune. Everything that Keyakizaka46 has taught me is something I will never forget in the future.

That's why it's such a blessing to be able to make another new fortune as Sakurazaka46 from now on. First of all, I want to make many happy memories with the fans. That is what I want to do the most right now. I've given them a lot of painful and sad feelings, so I'd like to repay them many times more than before, and spend our time with a smile!"

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Translation: toomuchidea

QC: mentos

Raw: kiryu