Harada Aoi solo interview in Bessatsu Kadokawa Keyakizaka46 / Sakurazaka46 1013/1209

 

With a bright atmosphere floating in the air, energetically answering the interview was Harada Aoi. The moment I asked about her impressions from the Last Live, she said “It was super fun!” with sparkling eyes as she began to answer.

The 2nd day of the live was both fun due to the setlist, and I was happy since I could really see the members’ faces a lot. When I see their smiling faces and that they are enjoying the live I also get a feeling of enjoyment. That we could continue with Keyakizaka46 for 5 years up until now was for sure because they were there for us, the staff who closely supported us and the fans who were always our allies cheered us on. I thought I myself must also do my best, so that we can deliver our feelings of gratitude, and so that it could become a live with good memories. Also, especially because it was the last live, there was a strong feeling that  “I have to do it so there won’t be any regrets” about the things I can do as Keyakizaka46.

Possessing a sense of responsibility, the sight of her enthusiasm about wanting to show the best form of the current Keyakizaka46 was very heartening. However, starting to think “I gotta do it properly!” towards everything was because she had entered this world.

In this world (of being an idol), I think there are many that admire idols and enter with a strong intent, but I was not obsessed to that extent. When I took the auditions I was only a middle schooler and I was living in Tokyo so I was not moving to the capital as well, so I think there was a big part of me that was frivolous towards everything. Besides, until now I lived happy without having much difficult emotions, it is not like I have lived through various painful or regrettable feelings... If I have to say it, it has really been a normal life. However, joining Keyakizaka46 I not only had a lot of feelings that I had never experienced before, but I could see a lot of scenery I would never have seen before precisely because I was in this group and I experienced many things that I probably would not have experienced if I had not entered this world. Furthermore, I could talk to the members I would not have got to know if I had not entered Keyakizaka46, learn various emotions and grow much as a person.

Emotions you cannot learn about from only spending every day pleasantly. When bringing up this, she remembered the impact.

Every day was an impact. I thought, so this is what learning every day means. Moreover, if you do not enter this world you will not learn about yourself as you are seen by others, right? Because I entered this world I could also learn the importance of seeing myself objectively, so I once again thought that this world is amazing.

The things she used to think weren’t actually obvious.  She once again felt she had really been brought up in a blessed environment, and what she furthermore understood from seeing herself objectively was “To be myself as it is”.

Within Keyakizaka46 I tend to be called “forever childish”. (laugh) Since also the younger 1st generation members were very mature, that image became established. In addition, I am quite talkative and I am not a dark type, so the bright and innocent image got stuck. I also think myself that I am that type and I am told by fans that “keep being as you are” so I thought let’s be myself as I am now. Nevertheless, just being bright and innocent in the long run makes you be thought of as shallow, so in order to become a person with substance I thought I will study properly and do my best to be compatible with schoolwork as well from now on.

With the timing of her becoming a 3rd year high school student she took a one year pause from activities. This was an important promise she made with her parents at the time of joining Keyakizaka46.

When I entered Keyakizaka46 I made the promise with my parents to “definitely continue on to university”. That was a condition for joining Keyakizaka46 and for example even if I did not like studying that much, I made the resolution that I have to draw the line here and do it, so I focused on my studies. Resultantly because I had that one year, there were truly many worlds that I could get to know and I am grateful to my parents. I thought that if you only spend time in this world then eventually your field of view will become biased, so now while attending university, I am deeply moved that I can absorb various things, so I believe it was absolutely something necessary. Moreover, when I attend university it is a moment where I can become a normal girl. I think it is important hereafter to keep up with both entertainment and education so I want to tackle both of them with all my might.

Even if there was her promise to her parents, there were bound to be complications with leaving the group during a period when Keyakizaka46 had started gaining popularity. Moreover during the emotion filled latter half of one’s teens, was not there perhaps a sense of danger as “if I take a break here now, won’t I miss out?”? When asking that she reveals that “That anxiousness is always there even now”. 

It is not like I am really super positive, I always think what should I do if I lose the place where I belong. Uneasiness and anxiousness is something that does not readily disappear. But I think that there is something very important that can only be done at those times. For me at that time it was taking exams and studying. After I had actually come back, there were really a lot of fans around the same age as me writing in fan letters that “I saw that Aoi-chan studied diligently for one year so I thought I would also do my best to study” and “I want to try to take my club activities even more seriously” which makes me happy when I read them.  If there is someone who sees me and feels like they need to do their best, it makes me think I have to do my best now as well. I can do my best thanks to all of the fans so perhaps we can exchange good smiles. To this day my mother still gets angry at me like “Do what you need to do!” (laugh).

Her smiling expression as she says that in a calm manner is adorable. While being an idol, she is a single daughter who was carefully raised, as well as a young woman. The one who properly wields this feeling is her.

For each year that I get older, the ones who tell me strict things to me are getting fewer and fewer. Of course I do not like being told off and at times I think “Shut up!”, but since I think it is necessary for such people to be there for me I am very grateful. Because my mother is regularly criticizing and scolding me I am happy if fans will spoil me just like they have until now (laugh).

Joining Keyakizaka46, there is one big thing that changed.

When I joined Keyakizaka46 I did not really have anything like a hostile mind or rival spirit. I took it easy with both good and bad things. But being among the members who hate to lose, seeing them improve themselves more and more, I started to think that I have to make sure not to be left behind. After all, living the same time and being in the same environment, does it not make you want to not lose? Ever since that fighting spirit came forth, I started practicing a lot because I did not want to lose in dance and performance. Because I had that feeling I think I was perhaps able to step up my ability. Of course, there were incredible people around me who also served as good role models, but from now as well I want to keep cherishing this feeling.

That was not only about the performance, but the members gave her motivation in various fields of expression.

There are many of them who are better at dancing than me and there are also those who are really good at messages for blogs and SNS. When a feeling of jealousy sprouted from that, I started doing research as for why they were so good at it. Doing that I learned that the ones using wonderful words were reading a lot of books. From that day I started to read many books too. To be honest, before that I didn't really like reading books, but it was just that the ones my parents recommended did not fit me and books that members recommended to me were very interesting. From that experience I also felt that it is not good to judge anything by the first impression.

She is the type that if she comes like it she will investigate it to the very end. Taking in good things one after another and treasuring enjoyment.

Lately I am all into make-up. In high school it was prohibited by the school and I did not have much interest… But since I became a university student and can do make-up freely as I wish, Moriya Akane-chan who is very knowledgeable about it is teaching me a lot. Doing that it became more and more fun and I started doing things like buying and trying out the same cosmetics... I’m studying a lot while mimicking her.

These five years of being part of this Keyakizaka46 was certainly a period where personal development took place for her. Thanks to entering the group she discovered her new self, finding even more interests and spending days with fulfillment.

In case I had not taken the audition that time, I think I would have graduated middle school and high school as normal and been going to university. Right now I am attending a social sciences university (文系*) but really I wanted to go to a science and technology university (理系). I like architecture and such. Maybe I would have been an architect in the future… is what I would like to think but I do not think I could come that far (laugh). I love『Makeover! Dramatic Before & After**』so I was thinking it would seem fun. But I also did ballet since I was little so maybe I would have advanced to something art related… Thinking like that it swells into various options, but now I am truly glad that I entered Keyakizaka46. Basically I am full of curiosity. From here on as well I am sure I want to keep pursuing the things I like. In addition, members and friends often recommend things that they like. I watch, read, try all of those things at least once. After all, if I have nothing to come with when I am on the opposite side, wouldn’t it be lonely? And so, I want to be a person who can have an interest in the things people like and with them share the feeling of discovering fun things.

*In Japan they usually divide the university programs by 文系 and 理系, where 文系 is social sciences, humanities, liberal arts etc., while 理系 is natural sciences, engineering and technology etc.

**A tv show about renovating and restoring houses, Japanese title 『大改造!!劇的ビフォーアフター』

The appearance of her in a flexible and forward-looking way, accepting and taking in various things to herself is very elegant and beautiful. Taking in good things without being fastidious is without a doubt because of her honest personality of belief. Nonetheless, when she heard about the name change from Keyakizaka46 to Sakurazaka46 it seems like she received quite a shock.

Honestly, at first I really disliked it. After all, I love the group Keyakizaka46 and not being able to do activities as Keyakizaka46 felt as if my memories until now would disappear and it made me very sad. But while talking about it with the staff I noticed that I cannot cling on to those feelings forever and in order for us to further begin many things anew it was an important step. I thought that we have to believe that the chance of the name change will become a good wind. It is sad but I began hoping that this decision of name change would be a good thing for us. It required a lot of time to switch over, but even if I went on and on about it I started thinking it is inevitable so I feel like I could find determination.

What could that change in feeling be?

Rather than saying “changing clothes” into the new Sakurazaka46, I have the feeling similar to “throwing off the clothes” of Keyakizaka46. Rather than being born again, in order to further evolve, I have perhaps a feeling of throwing off the things until now. (Sugai) Yuuka-chan listened seriously to everyone's opinion in this matter. She asked seriously what everyone actually thinks, if there perhaps is not anyone who does not want the name change and put it all together. Moreover, Watanabe Risa-chan who I usually talk a lot with, we also talked together about this. Thereupon we talked with everyone that there are perhaps things we will lose with this decision, but above that we hope to become a group who can take on many things.

Finishing the one year of devotion to her studies, she returned to Keyakizaka46. After that, the graduation of members, the name change… What does she think when looking back on the one year of turmoil?

It was a year I could get a considerably objective point of view of myself. There was no single release and there was also COVID so there were many times that even if I wanted to do activities I was not able to… Precisely because in reality, it was a period of doing many things, there were many times I got very complicated feelings. But it was a year I properly thought about what it is I can do only now, including how it should be. What I learned from that is that I still have a long way to go after all. But because I learned about that inexperience I decided to keep making an effort from now on as well.

And the first day of the approaching Last Live. Sadness, loneliness, enjoyment and various feelings were overflowing.

Before the first day started, there was time to talk with the stage director, the performance director, the dancers and TAKAHIRO-sensei. It was when they one by one told us a few words that my eyes teared up the most. Because they have been taking care of us since before the debut, the emotional attachment was very strong and every word was heavy. And so when I thought “Ah, today is really the last, huh” I became unable to control things anymore. When at last the instructors sent us off with teary eyes saying “Have fun”, that was when my emotions exploded the most. That is when I really understood that everyone, even though they are very busy people, they poured their energy into it for our sake, and I understood we were really a beloved group. I was happy that I could truly feel that at the very last of the last. Only, I didn't really want to cry before the main performance so I was a little bit troubled (laugh).

Before the curtains opened, there was something that everyone performed.

Before the real performance, we all hit on each other's backs. When we did that we voiced together that we would do our best so to not have any regrets. Thanks to that I think we could have a live performance without any regrets.

While looking back at the first day, songs she recalls are…

We challenged and fully polished『Fukyouwaon』and『Silent Majority』immensely. These two songs are very important representative songs of Keyakizaka46. TAKAHIRO-sensei also said that we want to show that “These two songs are the most matching, this really is Keyakizaka”, so we did our best to meet the expectations. However when it started, in the blink of an eye, becoming “nothing” in a good meaning, or how to say, I could dance as if a switch was flipped. Also since these two songs have performances matching the lyrics and solid choreography embedded with meaning, I believe that the fact that we could all unite and do it means that we could create a one and only stage.

The last song of the first day『Kuroi Hitsuji』held an even deeper meaning.

I was very happy that we could perform with every member. However, is not『Kuroi Hitsuji』a very sad song? I like to listen to this song but when it comes to performing I start getting considerably sad feelings. It is a song where we are pointing fingers at one person, pushing around someone, being pushed away and left alone… When it is part of the choreo it makes me remarkably sad. Such things are also put into words in the singing, so perhaps it makes an impression for both watchers and listeners, but after all I get very sad.

Precisely because she was raised kindly in a warm environment, she gets more emotional about these songs, and becomes sad. That gentle and pure personality for sure is her strong point. Thus the first day ended, approaching the morning of the second day. She reveals that it was hard with the muscles aching throughout the body.

My body was surprisingly screaming! (laugh) Today was the last and it was very sad but above that my body was hurting and it was terrible… That even caused me to laugh at times, nonetheless as expected as the main performance came closer there were sad feelings but even stronger was the feeling of wanting to end it without regrets. I love the songs of Keyakizaka46 and I also love the performances so when thinking it would be the last time I can do it, the feeling of wanting to do our best, without leaving any regrets while also enjoying ourselves, was strong.

Perhaps it is her personality, her somewhat out of focus comments about not ending it on only sad feelings are charming. She says that in the end after saying words of gratitude, while bowing, she thought back on the things so far and her heart filled the feelings of gratitude from even more people.

After carrying through the two days with full power, for one song, when we were bowing about five minutes I thought about various people. It is thanks to many people that we could come to where we were so in order to convey my gratitude I held out. When we later watched the footage, seeing the credits there was the strength of almost more people than could be written down. When I thought we were able to experience various things I was filled with even more grateful feelings. That time was an important moment, where I drew the line between me and Keyakizaka46 within myself.

And thus the fresh start as Sakurazaka46. She exchanged warm hugs with her juniors as well. 

The new second generation members told us that “It was a short while, but I was happy we could spend it together”. To think that they poured such warm feelings into Keyakizaka46 made me very happy. The new second generation members spent a lot of time during the rehearsals watching from behind, so I wondered what they were thinking. Because of that, them telling us that and saying they love it so much they could cry makes me truly glad that they joined.

A new future they started walking towards as Sakurazaka46. There are also many things she wants to do.

Even if we become Sakurazaka46 I want us to become a group that can be loved by many people, and in order to become a loved group without forgetting the bonds we tied as Keyakizaka46 I hope we can do our best without sparing any effort. Until now I was cherished as a beloved character and younger character, but there are even younger members and I made juniors so if there is anyone with troubles or worries I want to become a person who can stand close to them. I think that undoubtedly I will always be seen as a youngest child by the fans. I am also more comfortable that way (laugh), but little by little I want to become a person that can take the lead. My age is also right in the middle among the members. And so, I aim to become someone who can build bridges and be the lubricant between everyone. Thus, just like Keyakizaka46 was, I want Sakurazaka46 to be a place of self-growth, a place for growth of various people, a place for comfort and an existence that can push your back.

An even bigger dream, an aim for expanding overseas.

We have not gone overseas with the group. It would definitely be fun to do a live performance overseas as well one day and I think it would be exciting. I want to meet new feelings of finding things I want to do, so I hope I can do work overseas. It is something I cannot do by myself, so together with the members I love, I want to fulfill a big dream. Personally, I want to become a pretty, adult woman on both the inside and the outside. I am told often by my mom that the inside shows on your face. I also think that so I will do my best to properly polish my inside and become an admirable woman.

-----

Translated by: @karl_k46

QC: @toomuchidea

Raw: @karl_k46