Moriya Akane in-depth interview with YanmagaJP
Running up the slope, coming to a stop, looking back and revealing herself. Standing at a crossroad, deep within herself which can only be heard here.
It’s been one year since the renaming of Keyakizaka46. In the midst of Keyakizaka46 changing, we asked Sakurazaka46 member Moriya Akane about the events of the past year, her change of heart, and her current feelings as she continues to move up the slope, accepting the reality of the situation.
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It's been a little over a year since you’ve “positively parted” with Keyakizaka46. In that time, I'm sure you've had to swallow and digest the changes that have taken place since before the group's name change to Sakurazaka46, and I'm sure you're still taking it in. That's why I decided to give Moriya-san this opportunity to tell us her story in 10,000 characters.
It's hard to believe that it's been a year since we announced our name change at the end of the online concert ("KEYAKIZAKA46 Live Online, but with YOU!"). I talked with the members about how many things have happened since then, but of course there have been a lot of changes. We had to say goodbye to some of the members, and I really think it was a year where each of us became more mature.
As of last summer, you probably didn't even dream that a future of holding "W-KEYAKI FES.2021 '' with Hinatazaka46 at FujiQ Conifer Forest a year later was waiting for you, did you?
That’s right. This time last year, I couldn't imagine that at all. That's why I'm so surprised at how much things have changed. After parting ways with Keyaki, I've been doing a lot more events as Sakurazaka than I thought I would, so when I look back, I realize how much change can happen in just one year. I recently took a look at my photo folder from a year ago, and I thought to myself, "Oh, so that's how it used to be," and realized that even everyone's moods had changed so drastically.
Sugai Yuuka described the name change as a "positive farewell" a year ago, but to be honest, did you tell yourselves that, or were there times that you made yourselves believe it?
There were. Rather, I think those feelings were stronger. We didn't know where we were going, we didn't know how things were going to turn out, we didn't think everything was going to work out, and I think the first generation especially felt that way, and now I can feel it even more. But we had already come to the point where we had to change, and we knew we had to stay positive, so we said to ourselves, "Let's just cover our anxiety for now.”
So, we felt that the last concert in October would be the last time we would see ourselves as Keyaki. When I thought that this might be the last time I would perform a Keyaki song, I wanted to do my best so that I would never regret it. As a result, when the last live show was over, I couldn't stop crying for a long time, and I felt like I was suffering from burnout. But I felt that I had done all I could do. When people asked me, "Why are you crying?” I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. The sense of loss that “Keyaki was gone” was so much greater than I had imagined, but I also felt a sense of accomplishment, so it was a very complicated feeling. After almost a year I think I was coping with it through my tears.
The three centers and the Sakura Eight, or the members of the first and second rows of the formation, will participate in all the songs, but the "BACKS" in the third row will be replaced for each song, and Matsuda Rina, a second generation member, has been appointed as the new vice-captain. I guess you’ve been able to handle the new system.
Keyakizaka had a color that no one else had, and its "uniqueness" was very clear, so I thought that we had to find a different strength if we were to become a new group. Up to that point, our performances had been cool and our work had been outstanding, but we couldn't just change the name of the group and keep being the same on the inside. But when we just had a renewal, no one really knew what "Sakurazaka-ness" was. Rather, we were just trying to figure out what that was and work together to create it, so I felt that in order to establish something unique to us that no other group had, we had to be open to new systems like that.
However, I could imagine that if we were to say, "We're going with a new formation system," with no one knowing what the right answer would be, it wouldn't be received favorably by everyone. However, I felt that I couldn't come up with an idea that would be better than that (the new formation system), so to be honest, I realized how difficult it is to create something from scratch. In terms of feeling, it was even harder than the early days of Keyaki.
Did you think it was difficult to restart because you had a foundation of five years in Keyakizaka46?
Of course, we had experienced so many things, and it was very difficult to forget all of them. It was very complicated because of what we thought and felt in the past five years, and also because of what we had to carry. But we had to do it, and we had to change. That's why we've been moving forward with just that in mind.
It's been eight months since the debut of "Nobody's fault" in December of 2020, but honestly, what do you think and feel now?
I’ve actually gotten used to it, but when "Sakurazaka46 BACKS LIVE!” was decided, the staff explained their intentions to us. They said “If we go into the 3rd single without doing anything, there won’t be any big changes. But we know that the third row members haven't had a chance to show off until now, so we want to somehow bring out the best in each of them.” With that feeling, and as a result of them thinking about us, we decided to do "~BACKS LIVE!” But at first, it was very difficult for us to learn the songs that we hadn't participated in from scratch.
Normally, the dancers and TAKAHIRO-sensei (who was in charge of choreography) would teach us, but for "~BACKS LIVE!” we had to do the choreography by ourselves. When I first heard about it, I honestly wondered why it would be done in such an irrational way (laughs), but every day was like a test. Each of us had a month to perfect the songs we were going to perform, and it was a test of our strength from there. Anyway, the BACKS members had to go through it on their own, so we had to learn the choreography and movements by watching videos and matching them with the members.
That's why we all shared an awareness of "how many more days until we finish this and that song" and worked on it. However, the movements in Sakurazaka's songs are quite complicated, and it’s more difficult than it looks. The first time we tried it together, we kept getting in each other's way, and we even called it "clashing practice" (laughs).
Thinking about it, the first generation had never asked the second generation about the choreography before. It's easy to ask, so we just did it among members of the same generation , but with "~BACKS LIVE!” we couldn't say that, and we started helping each other beyond the terms of first and second generations. But with that, things such as this person’s way of teaching are good and unknown aspects are seen. The longer time we spend together, the more we talk to each other, and the more we get to know each other’s personalities.
With this, we all worked together with a sense of urgency, and I noticed that I naturally learned the choreography much faster. Up until then, I couldn't remember the choreography unless I had a dancer dance in front of me, facing the same direction. When you learn by watching videos, you face each other, so you see things oppositely. At first, I almost despaired, thinking, "Wow, I'm going to have to learn all of this by reversing it”. But gradually my perspective changed, and even when we were facing each other, the dance changed to my direction. With learning that skill, it’s easy to see that I’ve grown. In the past year, I’ve lost a lot of pride. I don't know how to put it, but in a good way, I don’t mind it.
Before, in another interview, you said, "One of the things I've learned in my five years of activities is not to expect too much”. Do you feel like it’s connected to that?
Yes. It's very disappointing when your expectations are not met, isn't it? But as people, we unconsciously have expectations somewhere, don't we? Then, one of the members I often talk to says to me, "That’s why you shouldn't get your hopes up too high," and I switch my thoughts and say, "Oh, that's right!” (laughs). But with "~BACKS LIVE!” I think we all have more stamina physically, and more than anything, I feel like we've become mentally tougher and more mature.
You mentioned earlier that you “don't mind anymore”, and I feel that this is also because you have come to accept things naturally. In other words, as Moriya-san said, I think you've become mentally mature.
Don’t get me wrong, when I first heard that we were going to learn the choreography by ourselves by watching videos, I thought that we would have to do it the same way as the "dance cover" videos that are often uploaded. With that up until now I felt that each dance had its own meaning, and that I had to understand the feelings and enthusiasm that went into it in order to let it sink into my body. Simply watching the videos and memorizing it, I couldn’t understand if the paying audience would want that.
But when we had finished the choreography for all the songs, the members who had originally performed in the original formations, the "original members" were there. “Why do you move this part here?” “What does this move mean?” I was able to deepen my understanding of the song by learning the details from them. Honestly, I was a little unclear about the songs I hadn't participated in, but knowing how Takahiro-sensei interpreted the lyrics and incorporated them into the choreography made me grow attached and love them more.
You felt somewhat distant from the songs that you didn't participate in?
That’s correct. Even if it's a song you like, if you don't know the meaning of the choreography, there will be a difference in how you feel about the song. With that, experiencing "~BACKS LIVE!”, I was able to find a good balance between my feelings for the songs. Also, while technical skills are important, I realized once again that a performance with feelings is the one that will reach the audience. I realized that no matter how much you practice and how hard you dance, if you don't have feelings that come from within the entire group, you're just showing off.
I think that also will be echoed when singing. I wonder if the sound on the single and the one we sang on "~BACKS LIVE! may have given a completely different impression when we sang it in "~BACKS LIVE!” even if it’s the same song.
We performed the solo parts of the BACKS members in the live performance, which you couldn't hear in the regular sound source, so I think people enjoyed the difference. I was also happy to hear the members say that they liked the "BACKS version" of "Omosabi '' (Omotta Yori Mo Sabishikunai). Without comparing, or surpassing anyone I felt like we were able to bring out the best of what was unique to "~BACKS LIVE!”. Ah, I wonder if it also reached the original members.
It really was just as Moriya-san said. At the end of the first day of “~BACKS LIVE!” when Onuma Akiho stood in the center of the stage for "BAN," I felt her expression and demeanor were uncanny, and it really hit me. I had the impression that there were many scenes like that during the three days.
I'm very happy. From my point of view, Fuu-chan's (Saito Fuyuka) "BAN" on the second day was also very convincing and really made me cry.
On the other hand, you stood as the center of the song "Omotta Yori Mo Sabishikunai," in which you also participated as an original member, and you said that it was a song that you had an emotional attachment to. There was a rap solo in the song, but what were your thoughts as you approached the performance?
With the reason being thinking it would be easier to convey the message of my favorite song, I nominated myself as center. Thinking more about it, I realized that there was a rap in the interlude. I thought “I've never rapped before, what should I do?” (laughs) But I had always liked the song and listened to it every day, so I naturally remembered some parts of it. When I sang the song in rehearsal, I was advised to "try saying the rap part in a way that is easy to explain”. When I became aware of that, I was able to sing it easily.
Also, we arranged the pitch a little higher than the original (Yamasaki Ten’s) key to make it easier to sing, but the choreography is more intense than it looks, so if you don't keep a good balance, you’ll get breathless and won't be able to sing. It was hard to be aware of that. Even though I was doing my best to sing, given the structure of the venue and conditions of the day, it was also difficult for me to make adjustments over the three days to see how the audience would hear me. We exchanged ideas with the PA (sound staff), such as "try to raise your voice more in this part," but this was the first time for me, including when I was in Keyaki, to go into such detail. It was very difficult and tough, but it was worthwhile to work together to improve the perfection of the performance, and I felt a different kind of happiness knowing that there were people who were happy with me when I gave a good performance.
After "Team Keyakizaka", you gained a new sense of unity with "Team Sakurazaka".
I felt that our sense of unity was strengthened as we started to communicate more. I think the experience of "~BACKS LIVE!” made that happen.
Speaking of communication, during the MC on the 3rd day, there was a scene where the 2nd generation members shared their feelings through letters. That scene was also very moving.
Yes… me as well (laughs). Actually, for the MC in "~BACKS LIVE!” we started rehearsing with a proper structure in mind. Up until then, we spent most of our time rehearsing choreography and dance moves, but from this time on, we were assigned "this member will be in charge of the MC after this song," and we thought about "what we should talk about," and "from the first day to the third day, let's make sure each team is different.” Above all, the director instructed us that if the MCs were sluggish, the flow of the live would deteriorate, so he wanted us to keep that in mind, so I think the members were very conscious of raising the level of MCing. Because of that the level was very very high.
You put a lot of emphasis on it (laughs). But when I think back to your live MCing when you were in Keyakizaka46, it used to be that Sugai-san would speak first and then ask one of the members to talk.
Also, during the time of Keyaki, we were focusing on the world view of the live performance as a whole, so we didn't put much emphasis on the MC. But now that we've become Sakurazaka, we decided to change that as well. The director said, "Let's show the difference with “~BACKS LIVE!”” I became more aware of the need to think carefully so that each group would be unique.
And, for our MC on the third day, we decided to write letters to each other to express our feelings and resolutions. What was difficult was that even though we had a fixed length, the director asked us to make the MC so that the fans listening to us reading the letters would want to listen standing up, not sitting. Also thinking about the time allocation, we thought a lot about how to make it so that the audience wouldn't get bored.
That's right. But the fact that Masumoto Kira was crying so much during the performance was out of the calculation.
Not only Kira-chan, but all of us didn't know the contents of the letter until the show, so my tear ducts were really in danger already (laughs). Moreover, Fu-chan's words to me ("I gave a message to all the new second generation members, but I'm really grateful to Akane next to me. Thank you. Akane really supported the original part of the group all the way while we were coming here, and I'm sure there are many first generation and second generation members who were helped by Akane, so please continue to be free as yourself, Akane.") was also a complete surprise, and I was so surprised the moment I heard those words that my tear ducts broke down, even though I didn’t intend to cry at all and had been holding back. That was a foul!
Words that come from the heart have such power, don't they? It's okay to cry!
No, really, I was very happy (laughs). Also, after the live show, I was sending photos to Moriya Rena and the others, then Rena told me, "When Akane-san tried not to show her tears in her letter, I cried too.” But even now, I don't really want to show my crying face to people, nor do I want them to see it. I've never been the type to cry in front of people, but as the years go by, my tear ducts get looser, and I can't control my tears anymore.
That's why even at "W-KEYAKI FES.2021", after the live show where we greeted the staff, when I heard (the captain of Hinatazaka46, Sasaki) Kumi-chan talking about what she's been through, I naturally started to cry. Whenever someone's words touch my heart, tears start flowing on their own. I don't know what it is. As you become an adult, do they become looser?
Yes, it gets even looser (laughs). When you get moved, you cry easily.
I understand! I was also about to cry while we were talking about Fuu-chan just now.
It makes you tear up, doesn't it? I don't mean to make a connection, but at the encore of "W-KEYAKI FES. 2021" when you performed "W-KEYAKIZAKA no Uta", all the members of Sakurazaka, especially the first generation , were crying. I knew you must have had a special feeling for that song, and it made me cry watching you.
After the live, (Sugai) Yuuka, Fuu-chan, Koba (Kobayashi Yui) and I were talking, and (while holding back tears) we were overflowing with various feelings. I had been covering up my feelings for Keyaki for a long time, but now we were going to sing "W-KEYAKIZAKA~" for the first time in a long time...and even before we sang it, the venue was filled with green penlights. I thought I'd never see that scenery again, but when I saw it, I remembered so many things. It was difficult to convince myself of the truth from the bottom of my heart, and I think each of us had various feelings. So I started crying, and all the first generation members were crying together.
Afterwards, we were interviewed by a camera, and Fuu-chan said, "Before, I felt uncomfortable singing this song (= W-KEYAKIZAKA no Uta) because I thought it would change the whole world view of the live. But after singing it for the first time in a while, I realized once again that it was a really good song.” I remembered how I felt when I sang it for the first time at the Ariake Colosseum concert, and the faces of the members who sang with me at that time came to mind. Ah, I’m about to cry…
I think there is definitely a scene that only the members, especially the first generation , can see. By the way, I remember the last time you sang this song was at the Makuhari Messe live in the summer of 2018, at the end of the national tour....
That’s right. At that time, the staff played a video that only the members could see, and it made us cry. I’m reminded of that time too (laughs).
I imagine that by singing "W-KEYAKIZAKA no Uta" with such a renewed spirit, you were able to truly move forward. How about it?
When I saw that the venue was dyed green even before we sang, I realized that everyone hadn't forgotten Keyaki, and that it had stayed in each of their hearts forever. I wonder if they would continue to love Keyaki and if it had become a group to be talked about. I don't know how to put it, but it's different from how I felt right after the last live show, when I thought "Keyaki is gone”. I was relieved to know that it was still there. In that sense, I was happy.
I understand what you're trying to say very well. That's why, now that I think about it, when you changed your name to Sakurazaka 46, the catchphrase "Go beyond Keyakizaka 46" must have been a very high hurdle for the members.
I guess you could say that. But what I felt after "W-KEYAKI FES.2021'' ended was that what we needed to overcome was the feeling within us that we were comparing ourselves to the past. When we stood at FujiQ Conifer Forest, where we had been holding "Keyaki Republic'' for so long, and decided to perform as Sakurazaka46, the stage set was the same as before, and when we were waiting for our cue, I thought, "Ah, the same stairs as before”. It brings back of how I felt right before the opening of "Keyaki Republic'' and many more, but at the same time, I thought that I was the one who was comparing the past with the present. What we needed to overcome was that and I reconfirmed at this "W-KEYAKI FES.“
I can honestly say that it was a month in which I felt a deepening of this awareness and a renewed sense of the group's potential.
After the show, I talked to various staff members, and they told me that we need to raise the average score in the group. The experience of ~BACKS LIVE! experience, I was able to see what I was lacking, but I also think that the experience of being the center for all of the BACKS members has given me a sense of responsibility to carry the group on my shoulders and has motivated me to want to work with Sakurazaka in this way. I used to think that even if I wanted to do something, I couldn't pull it off, that I'd given up before I even started. So, in the true sense of the word, I think this is where I started.
With the release of their third single and the first arena tour since becoming Sakurazaka46, this fall will see the group evolve, deepen, and show its true value, won’t we?
We’re talking about "~BACKS LIVE!" again, but we worked on it with the mindset of "we'll never have another opportunity like this", so we had a great sense of accomplishment when it was over. I also feel that because each and every member truly believed that “we would change Sakurazaka”, we were able to give a performance that moved the hearts of the people who saw it. I was also able to experience the joy of expressing myself once again. It was so much fun to stand on the stage, and show off the dance, that I got excited just thinking about how I would do it tomorrow. It also reminded me back to the starting point of “expressing”. In that sense, I'm glad I did it, and I'm grateful for it.
As Moriya-san wrote in her blog, "I've come to believe that everything I experience has some kind of meaning," which I think is a sign that your mind has grown.
Since I’ve come to understand that, I think I’m able to express myself now. Also, I feel that everything that happens has a meaning, so I can still work hard and still enjoy myself.
That’s a wonderful disposition. Also, to put it in a very detailed way, I like the fact that the second generation members started to call you "Akane-san" instead of "Moriya-san". Maybe it's natural since there are two Moriya-sans in the group...
I'm not sure about that. But as a first generation member, I've been watching the group from the very beginning, and there have been times when I couldn't do anything to help the members who were feeling down, so I think I want to help them in any way I can this time. Being an idol can be really tough. A girl who used to have a great smile may find it hard to smile, or she may become afraid of being seen, or she may have a lot of worries. That's why I wanted the group to be a place where the goodness of each individual remains unchanged and where we can continue to dream. That's also why I'm concerned about the second generation.
I think the fact that you can consider the people around you in such a way has to do with the fact that you have been active for a long time, having passed the audition and celebrating your 6th anniversary soon.
I realized that six years had gone in a blink of the eye. But Nogizaka is celebrating their 10th anniversary, aren’t they? It's easy to quit, but it's really hard to keep going, so I respect everyone in Nogizaka from the bottom of my heart. It's the same for my fellow members. I can do my best because they are doing their best. They are truly irreplaceable and important to me.
With that in mind, how do you yourself plan to continue your activities in the future?
Well, I don't know...but I think that if I don't enjoy myself, the fans won't enjoy themselves either. The greatest asset I've gained through this activity is the existence of the fans who support me. There are people who have been watching over me since the moment I passed the audition, and I think they are sensitive enough to notice any changes. I don't want them to have negative feelings toward me because I think my mission is to cheer people up and give them dreams and hopes.
Therefore, I try to create an environment where I can enjoy myself even when there are many things going on around me. I think that an enjoyable environment is a place or atmosphere where positive emotions such as "I like it" and "it's interesting" naturally come. I came into this world because I admired it, and I want to continue to love it, so I want to continue to do my best without forgetting to have fun.
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