Kobayashi Yui's return interview from with magazine's WEB SPECIAL SHOOTING “Yuisanpo 2022 ~Yuigatari~” (26 Feb 2022)
August 2021. A sunny day. On the photoshoot that day, both Yuipon and the staff were in a slightly different mood than usual.
A relaxed atmosphere among women with a first-time photographer. Escaping the studio and lost in thought, relaxing in the greenery, soaking in the sunlight. Rather than fashion portraits, the photos taken felt more like sketches of everyday life - “A late afternoon with Yuipon”.
About a month after the photoshoot, Yuipon announced that she would be going on a hiatus. “We’ll wait until she comes back to publish these photos,” we discussed in the editorial department.
On a day in January 2022, when we showed her the photos at her first session with “with” since her return, Yuipon slowly looked through them somewhat shyly but delightedly.
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Kobayashi: “That day, I felt the sun shining the whole time while having my photos taken. It was the middle of summer, but strangely, it wasn’t so bright that it was blinding. Perhaps it’s because it was almost evening, but I remember the sunlight changing with every moment. Looking at the photos now, the lighting was beautiful. You can really see the different kinds of lighting, and feel my expressions changing with it.”
The photographer came up with so many ideas one after another on that day, that the staff who went along were worried about whether Yuipon would be fine with running overtime.
Kobayashi: “They’re all lovely, but if I had to pick a favorite shot, I’d say the very last one with the backlighting. It was taken quickly after the photographer said ‘We’re done~’. Perhaps that’s why it seems as though I no longer felt conscious of the camera (laughs). There’s a sense of loosening up in a good way.”
This “loosening up” is also an outlook that Yuipon gained from her three-month break. As a perfectionist, she had continually pushed herself to get better and better, and for work, she always gave everything she had by default.
But during her break, she learned to be a little more forgiving of herself: “Even if I can’t do things the way I imagined it, that’s okay”, and to be more lenient with others as well.
August was a time when she felt suffocated and troubled by the job she had thought she loved until then. “It felt painful somehow,” she recalls, something felt off compared to everything else before.
Kobayashi: “The thought that ‘Maybe I should take a break’ was probably in the back of my mind around the time of this photoshoot. But it took a lot of courage for me to get to the point where I could say “I want to take some time off”. But I feel that it’s because I put myself first and foremost and made the decision to take time off back then, that I’m here feeling more refreshed now.”
Her first task upon returning was Sakurazaka46’s 1st Anniversary Live held on December 10. There, she performed “Jamaica Beer” for the first time, a coupling song for their 3rd Single “Nagaredama”, which became a hot topic. It is a unit song with 2nd gen members Fujiyoshi Karin and Endo Hikari.
Kobayashi: “At the time, I thought, ‘This is our chance’. I had the same thoughts again when the song was released, but since it’s our first unit as Sakurazaka46, I figured that we could do a song with a different taste. It made me happy to be given the chance to try something new, and to be able to perform the song as soon as I returned.”
The choreography was done by shoji from s**t kingz. He is a choreographer that she liked to begin with, and through this encounter, she found greater enjoyment in the dance that she loved. But she also owes that to the time she was able to spend reaffirming that she “loves this world after all”.
Kobayashi: “In dance, everything changes from how you use your body to how the dance count is taken depending on the choreographer. A single song can become the catalyst to try something new, and for a new personal challenge to take shape, like opening up a new world…
It also feels like I’ve regained a bit of the excitement I felt when I first entered this industry, which is different from the ‘more’ I was demanding from myself before my break. I was able to think about things like ‘I got stuck back then doing things a certain way, but perhaps it would have been better to do it this way. Would my current self be able to do it now?’”
Having started this job when she was in her first year of high school, she also had a fixation on age. There was a fear that as she got further away from her teens, she would lose more and more of the sparkle expected from idols.
But when she celebrated her 22nd birthday during her break, rather than feeling like ‘I’m 22 already?’, she was able to feel that she was still only 22. She says that she likes music, dance, and acting. Fashion too. That there are still a lot of things that she would like to do. And that the road ahead is still long.
Kobayashi: “Right now, I feel like I should just go with the flow (laughs). Although about my age, I don’t think I quite feel the ‘joy of being in my twenties’ just yet.”
The more you think “I’ve found what I love”, the more you feel a sense of inadequacy about your imperfect self. It’s easy to get bogged down by the feeling of running into a dead end. Speaking of this, Yuipon said with a gentle smile, “That’s right. It’s also my sixth year doing this.”
Kobayashi: “After coming back, even when I made a mistake, I’d tell everyone “Look at how wrong I am” and we’d laugh about it together. I’ve learned to naturally ‘lighten up my heart’ in that way (laughs).
Rather than being able to do things well, I think enjoying the things I like is what’s most important for me to keep going for this job.”
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