Just go my way (Habu Mizuho interview with B.L.T December 2023 edition)
Q Before we knew it, it had been eight years since you became an idol. When it’s put into a number like that, you can feel how long it’s been.
Habu: It only felt like the blink of an eye to me. It sure was a really intense eight years.
Q When you entered, you were a high school senior, weren't you?
Habu: That’s right, as I was 18 years old. Now I’m 26 years old… I am undoubtedly an adult in the eyes of society. I still think of myself as a young person, but people see me as an adult, so I thought that I have to behave like one.
Q And then since some time ago, Habu-san has become “a reliable older-sister-like figure” in the group. Now you have the image of being someone who would comfort your juniors by saying, “What’s wrong? I’ll hear what you have to say”...
Habu: The presence of my juniors is something big for me too, I think that they naturally made me grow as a person too. Keyakizaka and Sakurazaka are the reason I am who I am today, and I feel truly happy to have been able to experience so many things while being in the groups.
Q The first time I interviewed you was before you debuted as Keyakizaka46’s 1st generation, in Autumn of 2015, and the way you said “I want to meet a new side of me” left an impression on me.
Habu: When I think about it now, I was lying to myself, or rather, I was unable to show my true self. How do I put this? It felt like I was making up an alter ego of myself. I was still unable to familiarize myself with my surroundings, we were all so much younger back then and had a different atmosphere than now. There was a part of me that was scared to act like my own self. And individuality in a group is something that will appear naturally, right? But it felt like I was trying to shape myself close to the image that I had in mind, and was unable to show my true feelings. When I think about it now, I sure was lost back then~ (laughs).
Q High school was your life until a while ago, and the moment you entered Keyakizaka46 everything changed.
Habu: I didn’t know how to present myself or how people were perceiving me. That feeling of being lost continued even after debuting, and I kept saying in our show ("Keyakitte Kakenai?") or interviews that “I want to wear a cute outfit” until around the “Fukyouwaon” period.
Q You sure did (laughs). I had the impression that Uemura Rina-san and Habu-san said those things.
Habu: Rina is “an eternal idol” after all. But back then, I said it with much sincerity too, you know? (laughs). It’s because I had the desire to wear many different kinds of outfits. But all of our outfits until “Fukyouwaon” were different from the usual image of an idol, and I was also able to learn that it takes courage to create something new. How important it is to make a different choice than others.
Q I’ve been interviewing Habu-san at every important point of events ever since the Keyakizaka46 period, but from your actions and conducts until around “Fukyouwaon” I could somewhat tell that you were unable to become who you wanted to be.
Habu: That’s right, I was so desperately focused on the things in front of me that I was unable to get a good look on my own self. And things didn’t go as well as I wished it would… When we entered the group and got started, we were all standing on the same line together, but then there are things that made you compare yourself to others, such as our position in the formation, and the sales for handshake and meet and greet events. It made me worry, so to say. But it is true that the feeling of “I have to catch up to the others, I must work hard” did lead to my own growth. While I had many regrets, I was able to become who I am now because of such an environment.
Q I guess the peak of your worries happened around the “Futari Saison” promotional period?
Habu: I was positioned on the second row for “Saimajo (Silent Majority)” and “SekaiAi (Sekai ni wa Ai Shika Nai)”, but I fell to the third row in “Saison”, and stayed there for “Fukyouwaon”. While I was able to participate in the unit “FIVE CARDS”, I was frustrated from not being able to experience the front row even once and thought, “I need to face myself properly.” Then in the fifth single, “KazeFuka (Kaze ni Fukaretemo)”, (Ishimori) Nijika, Ozeki (Rika), and I stood in the front row for the first time, and I thought that I need to do something, that I need to produce a result that I can see myself, and I vividly remember how I worked hard frantically. While believing that there are people out there who are always watching me, I struggled to break out of my shell in the TV show and such. When I think about it now, “KazeFuka” period was certainly the time when I made attempts to change my own self…
Q At that time, as B.L.T‘s interviewer I noticed a slight change in Habu-san, who tied her hair up in the “Fukyouwaon” MV, and sent the offer for a solo interview.
Habu: I remember that, I do! It felt more like a life consultation than an interview, didn’t it? (laughs). But right after that, there was the MV filming for “Eccentric”, Fukyouwaon’s coupling song, and I felt that I began to understand the way to present myself little by little. When I think about it, it might have been a period of new discoveries.
Q Then, after all, Keyakizaka46’s 4th single might have been your turning point.
Habu: I think that was a timing when I became able to somehow see myself and the group in an objective manner.
Q Since then, you started to leave iconic lines in every interview. We took the liberty to call it, “The Habu Sayings” (laughs). When you had a pair interview with Seki Yumiko-san, who was a 2nd generation member, I could already feel how you are acting like a reliable senior.
Habu: Wow~ To know that you thought of me like that… But there were those who continuously cheered for me even from the (Keyakizaka46) debut single until the 3rd single, during the period when I was unable to show myself well. It is because of the fans who continued to be with me that I was able to overcome that time of worry, and I can be who I am now. I started to gain new fans after the 4th~5th single, and there were also so many people telling me things like “You were great on this part of the performance!” Their presence was the reason that I was able to think, “It’s okay for me to stay the way I am!”
Q The fans certainly play a big role in helping you to stand as an idol, don't they? We are going back a bit chronologically, but Habu-san participating in the dance club for the Omotenashikai that was held three months before your debut was a bit of a surprise back then. Since you said that you like games, I thought that you would join a more cultural-type of performance.
Habu: That’s so nostalgic. It’s true, why did they put me in the dance club!? (laughs). But the five members of the dance club ended up being the dancers in the “Katamirai (Kataru Nara Mirai wo…)” intro. On the MV filming day, we also celebrated my birthday, there were a lot of things going on.
Q And so, every time something happened during Keyakizaka46 I would be interviewing Habu-san. When I think about it, it sure was an eventful five years.
Habu: It was really intense (laughs). We had members graduating during the Keyakizaka days as well, but each person has their own lives and makes their own decisions, and I think that each of us experiences the passing of time differently… And while I felt that there is also the option of staying in the group, when I think about how I want to show many more sides of myself to the fans, and how I want to convey new things to them, “graduation” was the word that came to mind. It was the right time for me to want to grow even more and progress even further.
Q How many times have you thought that way so far?
Habu: None. I never thought about it before, not even when the group was renamed from Keyakizaka to Sakurazaka. I didn’t think of it when (Sugai) Yuuka graduated, either. But like, my genmates are graduating one after another, aren't they? (Moriya) Akane, Pe (Watanabe Rika), (Watanabe) Risa and such. Even when it happened, I never thought of something like, “Everyone is choosing to graduate, maybe it’s time for me too…” In my case, I couldn’t think of anything else until I felt that I could entrust the future of the group to my juniors without worries. So when the 3rd generation members entered at the same time as Yuuka’s graduation, I felt that as a 1st generation member who has been experiencing everything from the start of Keyakizaka, I must teach them, as they didn’t know anything and needed someone to guide them. So I intended to stay until I made sure that the 3rd generation members could perform well.
Q When I interviewed the 3rd generation members the other day, with a serious look on their eyes, they said, “We’d like to learn from Habu-san until the very last moment, and continue what she has passed down to us.” I thought that they were so reliable.
Habu: Eh~ That makes me so happy…! Several members of 3rd generation have really loved the group ever since its time as Keyakizaka. I don’t mean to say that that’s the reason, but there have been many moments that made me think, “We got really good girls joining us.” When I think about how the 2nd and 3rd generation members will surely show even more sides to them from now on, I just couldn’t help but to feel excited about it.
Q So when you saw significant growth from the 3rd generation during the “3rd Tour”, you thought that you could safely leave things up to them…?
Habu: That’s right. But I think that it won’t be limited to just when I’m in the group, but the things that I want to convey to my juniors will show from time to time even after I graduate. Even though we won’t be spending every day together anymore, it doesn’t mean that this is the end. However, the fact that I felt that “Even if I’m not in the group anymore, the 2nd and 3rd gen will be fine. I feel reassured” meant a lot to me. The centers for Sakurazaka songs are mostly 2nd gen members, there are also even more members who are leaving results in outside shows, everyone has established their character in “Sokosaku”, and there is also nothing but potential from the 3rd generation members, I really look forward to their future! One of the reasons I decided to graduate is because I wanted to enjoy Sakurazaka in an objective way.
Q I guess it’s more difficult than I imagined to be able to look at your group objectively while also being a member of it… But why did you decide to take that perspective?
Habu: I wonder why… I don’t want to stop my own progress, so to say, and when I think about the future, I came to the decision to graduate, and I thought that would allow both me and the group to grow. I think that’s the best option to show my fans a new scenery, and so I made the decision.
Q Do you have any regrets when it comes to your group activities?
Habu: Hmmm~... To be honest, I do have some regrets, but I have the intuition that I have to move forward once again in a different way. I’m trusting that gut feeling.
Q Intuitions are usually surprisingly correct, aren’t they? A certain actor said that they sometimes trust their intuition more than a well-thought out answer.
Habu: I greatly don't want this graduation to be the end for me, and I think that what happens in the future will be very important. Even after graduation there is no changing the fact that I was a member of Sakurazaka and Keyakizaka, and so it’s important to think on how I choose to present myself in the future. I also felt that I had to pave the way for my juniors so they have more options for their future path, and I thought that it was the best decision I can make as both an adult and as myself.
Q Perhaps the most difficult thing is to decide on the timing, huh?
Habu: I can imagine my fans wishing that I could’ve been positioned more to the front for my last single, or how they wanted to see me centering a song, so I truly regret not being able to fulfill all those expectations… But I think that those regrets drive me forward, and it made me feel “I don’t want it to end here”, I’m also thinking of just taking it in as a good experience.
Q Right, because life will just go on. Speaking of which… If you were to name something that you have left behind in Sakurazaka46, what would it be??
Habu: Eh~ Isn’t it embarrassing to say it myself? (laughs).
Q As a reporter, I think that you have left the attitude of, “By facing my worries and hesitation, I managed to establish my identity in the group.”
Habu: I’d be very happy if people could think of me like that. I can only say it now, but man, I sure did have a lot of worries back then~! There was a time when my handshake lane was emptier than the other members, I was pretty depressed about it… But it’s not like there is a secret trick that you can do to make people come and visit your lane. I was really worried about that, but I decided to never forget to cherish those who came, and to slowly increase the number of the people cheering for me even if it takes time. So that’s why in this last single, seeing how my slots were all sold out in the 1st round of application made me really happy. I feel truly grateful to think how the fans realized my dream at the end.
Q I think that your dream could be realized like that because Habu-san continued to share your happiness, worries, and gratitude to the fans.
Habu: As for me, I wanted to grow together with the fans. I always shared my feelings because I want our relationship to be more than just us telling each other to do our best together, but to move as one entity together, and I’d like to continue to do so from now on.
Q I think that you are so deeply loved because your fans can relate to your thoughts and feelings.
Habu: I wrote about this in my blog before, but there is someone who has continued to cheer for me unchangingly from elementary school to university. That girl is not the only one, there are many people who have continued to cheer for me since I was in Keyaki. And I somewhat feel that their appearances and personalities have grown similar to me (laughs). Since I was chosen to be a model in fashion magazines, the number of my same-sex fans have grown, but when I speak to them in real life, sometimes my clumsy side comes out and they might find that surprising.
Q That’s not true, I’m expecting to hear some quote-worthy lines from you as well today… (laughs).
Habu: Eh~ I wonder if I can leave something behind (laughs).
Q There is one question that I’ve been planning to ask from a while ago. I asked Sugai-san the same question last year, if you could jump back in time to redo something, which moment in time would it be? Sugai-san answered, “If Keyakizaka performed in the three-days Budokan concert instead of having it all performed by Hiragana Keyaki, the future might be different.” What about Habu-san?
Habu: Hmm~ I choose not to go back. I’d like to stay positive and I don’t have any regrets about the path that we have walked through. If we change our story, I don’t think the current Sakurazaka will exist, the 2nd and 3rd generation members might not be enjoying their activities as they are right now… When Budokan was entrusted to Hiragana Keyaki, I did have very mixed feelings at the time, but I feel that we have what we have right now because of what happened back then. I’m sure that’s a part of destiny.”
Q It’s hard to realize how everything that happens has a meaning when it happens in real time.
Habu: That’s right. However, if we make use of what happened for the future, then our experiences will not be in vain, and we will be able to leave our footprints behind, and I feel that the actions of my past self has made me who I am today. I feel that by sharing not only my frustrations but also various emotions with the members, we are able to understand each other’s feelings and are able to think with different mindsets. I believe that our point of views can be broadened through experience…
Q Starting from the 7th single, Sakurazaka46 members have been divided into Senbatsu members and BACKS members. Since Habu-san had experience as a BACKS member before, I figured that you can understand the feelings from either side.
Habu: Experiencing the frustration of that time has served me well later in life. I had a lot of thoughts and feelings at that time, but then I realized the importance of experiencing various emotions. Having experienced so many things, I can say you need to cherish yourself first. Raising your self-esteem is a difficult task, but I started to think that it is better to see everything that happened to you as meaningful, and to accept and absorb what you experience in a positive way. I am sure that it will be something important for your future no matter what you feel, and I think it’s very important to make use of your experiences. And if you have a high self-esteem, you can make the people around you smile and make those cheering for you feel at ease… So that’s why, while I don’t intend to be patronizing, from my experience I can say that it’s important not to let yourself be carried away by the circumstances or your surroundings…
Q Does Habu-san feel motivated yourself after speaking those words?
Habu: I wonder? I always keep in mind that I have to be true to myself, it makes me happy if people love me for who I am, and I think that people will enjoy my activities more if they learn of my personality. So I think it’s important to be genuine. It meant a lot to me when I learned that you will look cooler if you don’t try to be cool…
Q I wonder if being like that has made it easier for you to understand what other people feel.
Habu: I’d like to understand as much as I can. Even though I will be graduating from the group, I hope to be someone they could always talk to. I'd like to be someone who can support the members that will be creating and shaping Sakurazaka’s future.
Q The “Habu Saying” has been spoken one after another so far. It’s like a series of quote-worthy sayings. If Habu-san were to pick a memorable performance, then which concert and which song will it be?
Habu: Hmm~ They are all memorable for me… The “Nobody’s fault” performance when I stood as center in BACKS LIVE was memorable, and being the substitute center for “Ambivalent” made me reflect on things, so I remember that well too. But I guess it has to be our first Debut Countdown Live as Sakurazaka. It was held in the same venue as Keyakizaka’s, but because of the COVID pandemic it was held with no audience and merely streamed online. The feeling of expectation that this will be a new page for the group and the worry of whether the fans will continue to follow us has made it very memorable. That’s why BACKS LIVE, the first concert with an audience as Sakurazaka, is very memorable for me as well. We had to learn the choreographies of all the songs by ourselves, so it was very difficult, but that has also made it memorable…
Q To turn difficulties into positivity. I suppose that is the “Habu Mindset”, huh?
Habu: It might be strange for me to say it myself, but I think… I am an un-idol-like idol, so to say. But I hope my juniors and those who are thinking of becoming an idol from now on can know that “There are idols like Habu Mizuho too!”, I want to widen the options and paths they can take. I’d also like to teach my juniors the importance of saying things out loud. The photobook that was published at the time of my graduation was also realized after I proposed it myself… That is just one example, but I’d like to say that if they pursue what they love and connect it to their activities by speaking about it, it will expand their world greatly, so if they’re still hesitating about it, I want to encourage them that it’s okay to just say it out loud.
Q The current Habu Mizuho exists because she continues to speak out her mind, doesn’t she?
Habu: I’m very grateful for it. But I hope that even after graduation, my relationship with the fans could continue to be one where we grow together. It’s not like we are resetting it, and it’s not like I’m starting over from scratch again, so I’d like to expand my range while seeing new sceneries with my fans. Ideally, I hope to be someone who can continue to deliver something new.
Q It's a beautiful mindset. Speaking of which, what are your current thoughts about the 1st generation members, who have seen the same sceneries with you for the past eight years?
Habu: For the members that have spent so much time together and seen the same sceneries with me, I feel nothing but gratitude because they've supported me through all that.. How they accept me no matter who I am, how we’ve fought together, how they’ve supported me who chose to walk down a new path, I feel so much happiness because of everything. There will be only four 1st generation members from now on, and I think that each four of them have their own individual lives, so I hope that they can enjoy the “present” without feeling rushed. I truly want them to enjoy the present because it’s something that will not last forever.
Q By the way, when did you tell the four 1st generation members of your graduation?
Habu: Ah, I told them at the same time as I told the other members (laughs). Until then, I never talked about it to anyone else. I did think that I should tell the four of them in advance, but I can’t help but to feel that they knew it already. I also don’t want them to treat me with more consideration just because I told them that I’m graduating, so since I’m already an adult I decided to settle the matter within myself. And because we have been together for so long, there are just times when you don't know how to say things to them. So I gathered the members and told them about it once I was certain of my decision.
Q I see, since the 1st generation members have become adults who know both the bitterness and sweetness of life.
Habu: But personally, I want Rina-chan to stay in Sakurazaka forever (laughs).
Q Uemura-san is a fairy after all (laughs). Another achievement of Habu-san that I think is big is how your nickname of “Habu-chan” is spreading to even the junior members, removing the wall between seniors and juniors.
Habu: Even now, not everyone is calling me that yet. It’s just Endo (Hikari)-chan, Onuma (Akiho)-chan, and (Morita) Hikaru-chan, I guess? And for some reason (Yamasaki) Ten-chan is calling me “Habu-sensei” (laughs). (Fujiyoshi) Karin-chan even calls her genmates by their surname, so until my time of graduation I hope that she can call me by my given name. Like, “Mizuho~” (laughs).
Q Oh, speaking of which, even now no one is calling you “Mizuho”, isn’t it? Though I think it’s because the nickname “Habu-chan” is so established already (laughs).
Habu: I think it’s a minority even among my fans (laughs). Even Yuuka doesn’t call me by my name…
Q And fans can’t really bring themselves to call you with your name, huh. It’s complicated (laughs).
Habu: But there’s something fun about that dynamic during meet & greets. And they would ask me for advice too. Then I would say something like, “That ain’t good~ Isn’t it better if you do this instead?”, and I hope that this relationship that I have with the fans could continue in the future. And the age range of my fans is really wide. There are people from all sorts of age groups, from little girls to an elderly ladies, coming to see me in meet & greet. I’m thankful about it. My age happens to be the average of my fans’.
Q When I hear that, it makes me realize that you really do get a lot of support from a wide range of ages.
Habu: I think they might have been a big influence that allowed me to show the different sides of myself, both my normal, vulnerable self and my modeling self. On the contrary, I think that I was able to show myself in an honest way like this because so many people supported me as such. So I am truly, truly grateful for everyone.
Q And with what feeling would you like to face the first day of “3rd YEAR ANNIVERSARY LIVE” on 25th November, which will be your last stage as a Sakurazaka46 member?
Habu: It will be the group’s first stadium concert, and I will be graduating on the first day of the two days-long performance. I’d like to convey my gratitude to everyone who has been cheering for me for the past eight years, and I’d like to entrust everything to my juniors. I don’t want it to end with just me passing it over to them, but I’d like to give it my all and convey everything I want to show and end it that way. I sincerely want everyone to enjoy each and every moment… Being able to end my activities by performing Sakurazaka’s newest songs also makes me happy as a member of the group. But honestly, I also wished I could’ve centered one of the newest songs. To tell you the truth, I really regretted it, but I’ll make use of that feeling in my future activities! I won’t do things that will make the fans feel sad, so I hope they can wait for it.
Q I’m sure it’ll reach them. And I’ll be waiting for it too. Then, please say the words that you’d like to leave as Habu Mizuho The Idol!
Habu: I think that I am able to make the decision to make the next step thanks to everyone who has been supporting me in the past eight years no matter how I am. And I once again realized how glad I am to have been a member of Keyakizaka46 and Sakurazaka46. These days, the sense of values has become more diverse and the variety of choices have expanded, and I am sure that no matter which choice I select I will lead a life without forgetting to feel grateful to everyone who has supported me. I’d like to affirm myself for thinking that way, and praise myself for making the decision to take a new step forward, and believe in myself from here on out. I am able to have these thoughts because of my experience in the group, so I hope that the fans could continue to look forward to what Sakurazaka will do next as always, and I myself would like to try many different things. In a short while, I will no longer be Sakurazaka46’s Habu Mizuho, but I’d like to continue to express myself in my own way, so I’d be happy if they could continue to watch over me.
Q So there is a possibility that you might be sitting somewhere amongst the audience to watch the performance of the members on the second day?
Habu: Right! That’s right, I might be able to watch Sakurazaka's performance in an objective way for the first time. I’d like to look forward to which member will be filling my spot, and I’d like them to perform with the intention of “I’ll be making this my spot now.” I’d like them to dye Sakurazaka’s songs with their own colors freely. The group is truly filled with nothing but charm, being able to be a part of its story is enough to make me happy already.
Q And you have entrusted the continuation of that story to the remaining members and those who will be joining in the future.
Habu: As a Buddies, I’d like to enjoy how they will paint it with their own colors. But I can’t choose an oshi… They are all “Habu no Onna”, after all (laughs).
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