face to face (Kobayashi Yui, B.L.T2020 October)

 

I wanted to show everyone during our online live that “This is us!”

Kobayashi-san’s presence and performance at the online live “KEYAKIZAKA46 Live Online, but with YOU!” seemed to stand out even more than usual, to the point that it made me imagine you would be the nucleus of the group from here on. The renaming of the group was announced towards the end of the concert, but I would like to ask you what your honest feelings about it are lately.

Kobayashi: 

By the time we reached the day of the concert, I could feel everyone’s enthusiasm in being like “let’s do this!”. As for the group’s renaming… I’m already looking ahead, or rather, I’ve been made to look ahead. At first, the feeling was kind of like “oh so there’s also the option of renaming”. As with all the members though, I still wanted to continue on as Keyakizaka46 after all, and for some time I thought about how we’d be able to continue under the name of Keyakizaka. It’s not that I was fixated on it, but there are a number of reasons for me, such as how there must have been fans who wanted to see Keyakizaka advancing towards new possibilities amidst the graduation of members, so I was disappointed that I couldn’t show them that. 

I wondered, if only I had tried harder, I might have been able to do something about it. After the symbolic figure Hirate (Yurina) left the group, there were fans who had their hopes up for our way forward to the next stage because of this, but I believed that if we all worked hard and put our efforts together, we could have the power and strength to meet those expectations from then on. But I think it was precisely because we had those thoughts, that we were able to put our feelings of wanting to show our current strength and power into our performances.

Yes, I thought it was a concert that was very much filled with emotions. Nevertheless, I imagine that you must have had a lot of inner struggles before you were able to put those feelings forward. I wonder how you managed to sort out those feelings in those circumstances.

Kobayashi: 

Before hearing about the renaming, I had a strong feeling that “we can do more and work harder than others think”, but how do I put this… When the renaming was decided, it’s not in any way an extremely negative feeling, but it felt like “oh, it’s just not possible”. I came to the realization that we… I don’t have that kind of power. But because of that, I felt a little lighter. In my own way, I felt a sense of responsibility for the new Keyaki that I had to do my best, but it was all reset for the moment. 

I was also disappointed with myself, that I didn’t have the power to change the situation… But when I thought, that’s the reality, and that it’s fine to just do the best I can, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Ah, I don’t want it to sound so serious though, since it doesn’t feel all that heavy to me… (laughs).

No no, I’m taking your words to heart. And once again I am impressed by your mettle, that you were prepared to carry the new Keyakizaka46 on your shoulders.

Kobayashi: 

But it’s not like I was casting away those responsibilities being like “I’m done with it”. The fact that it’s still frustrating hadn’t changed and we all felt the same way, so we were motivated to “show them this is who we are in this concert!”.

It was of truly overwhelming quality, from the concept and composition, to the stage set and camerawork. And needless to say, the performance itself. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that it was a truly marvelous concert.

Kobayashi: 

The staff members’ feelings towards the concert were also very strong, and we were able to reconfirm that Keyaki was a group that could make others feel that way, and when I thought of it as a sort of acknowledgement for what we have built up until now, it made me very happy.

Choreographer TAKAHIRO-san also said this in a previous interview. That Keyakizaka46 is a group that expresses as much in return as the feelings you put into them. On the contrary, did you or the other members make any suggestions for this time’s concert?

Kobayashi: 

It was decided from the beginning, that “this song will be shown at this point in time” and so on, so we didn’t have any suggestions in that regard, but where the camerawork was important, for the parts of the performance where we had to appeal to the camera, we asked the cameraman, “would moving in such a way work?” This time, it was very important for us to be in sync with the cameraman, so we needed to properly check things over, and I think we communicated well with each other. As for TAKAHIRO-sensei, since it was the first time that we performed the last track “Dare ga Sono Kane wo Narasu no ka?”, we had quite a number of conversations about that song.

Since you play an important role in “Darekane”, such as being in charge of the narration at the beginning, I would be glad if you could go into more detail about what those conversations were about.

Kobayashi: 

The protagonist in the narrated lines has the answer right from the start, but doesn’t realize it. So from the beginning of the first verse, she’s portrayed as being seemingly troubled, and once she stays silent herself, she might be able to hear something different… is what TAKAHIRO-sensei told me.

I see. So what would you say are your immediate thoughts on the song?

Kobayashi: 

Though the lyrics can be read as being directed towards us who are saying goodbye to Keyaki in a positive manner, the song “Darekane” itself existed even before our renaming was decided. However, I think the addition of elements that “it’s because it’s the last single”, and “it’s because it’s a song without a Center”, resulted in a song that sounds like it’s about ourselves now.

Indeed, it has been broadcasted as the theme song for AEON Card’s commercial since the beginning of spring. As you just mentioned, “Darekane” ended up being the last single, but all 28 members, including the new 2nd gen members, took part in the song. What is your current relationship like with the 2nd gen and new 2nd gen members?

Kobayashi: 

I’m shy as always (laughs), so I haven’t been able to talk much with the new 2nd gens, but I was surprised to learn how strong the 2nd gen members’ feelings towards Keyaki were through this concert. I think it’s perhaps only natural for the 1st gen members who made the group from the beginning to have a strong love for Keyaki, but for the 2nd gen members to care about Keyaki so much as well and think for the group, is something I’m very grateful for and happy about. Before entering the self-restraint period, I was able to talk to the 2nd gens more, and I talked about going out to eat with (Morita) Hikaru and Takemoto (Yui) sometime. Then the coronavirus hit right after that. 

Though we haven’t been able to go out for a meal together yet, you can really feel the strength of their feelings for Keyaki through their performances. They all have really great facial expressions. In the recent online live, we had to look at the camera often during our performances, so we were able to see everyone’s expressions clearly through the monitor, but I was taken aback and amazed by the 2nd gen members, thinking “wow, they can make such an expression!”. 

It might be strange for me to say something like this, but I feel really sorry that we weren't able to create an opportunity for all the 2nd gen members to get involved in making a new Keyaki song because of the incompetence of us 1st gens. I’ve had that feeling inside of me ever since working together with the Hiragana-chans (Hiragana Keyakizaka46, now Hinatazaka46). 

That’s why I’m really happy that they are now flourishing as Hinatazaka, and my honest wishes are for them to become even more popular. Similarly for the 2nd gen and new 2nd gen members, even though they came into the group for us, they’ve only been put into the places of the graduated members and not been given regular positions of their own, and I feel really sorry that they’ve not been able to produce something from scratch as a member of Keyaki. Maybe that’s also why I felt a sense of responsibility to do my best with the new Keyaki.

In that sense too, I’m looking forward even more to seeing the successes of the 2nd gen and new 2nd gen members with the new, renamed group. It’s still a long way off so it might be hard to imagine, but what do you want the reborn group to be like?

Kobayashi: 

We still don’t know anything about what the next group is going to be at this point in time (laughs), so I can’t quite picture it. Of course, we don’t know the new name either so it’s like we’re in a drifting state… I’d like for us to be a group that can establish something unique, where each and every one of us can flourish even more, and a group that will make one think “I love them” once again.

You work as a model for a fashion magazine and you also have acting jobs on dramas and movies, but I think it’s precisely because you are exposed to a different environment outside of the group that you are able to look at Keyakizaka46 objectively. What does the group look like to you from a different perspective?

Kobayashi: 

Right… first of all, rather than feeling like “I can do work outside the group!”, my feelings are that it would be great if each of my actions would lead to and connect with activities for other members. I wanted more people to know about the group, so in that sense I was carrying Keyaki on my shoulders as I went about my activities. Though perhaps I’m just thinking about it that way myself…

In other words, you are motivated to work with the group in mind even in your individual activities?

Kobayashi: 

Hmm… I wonder. I don’t know if it’s an answer, but in my mind, I always want to do something positive for the group. That’s why even when I’m taking on work as an individual, I work with the feeling that I’m there as a representative of Keyaki. I would be happy if my efforts lead to people getting to know the other members a little better. That’s something that I don’t think will change even when we become a new, renamed group.

I imagine that you will have been quite inspired by your experiences of acting with actresses of your age in the drama “Joshi Kousei no Mudazukai (Wasteful Days of High School Girls)”, and with a big name actress in Komatsu Nana for the first time in the movie “Sakura” that will be released in November. Has playing the role of someone else sharpened your senses in a way that has broadened your horizons in entering the worldviews of songs?

Kobayashi: 

Indeed, let me see… There was a period when I stood in as the Center for Keyaki’s activities, but I felt like I didn’t belong there, or should I say, it’s also true that it somehow felt uncomfortable. It wasn’t really the case that I was leading the whole group in performances, and conversely, there was a part of me that lacked confidence and sort of backed away from it to be honest. Then, when I went outside the group for my acting jobs, I ended up wondering “is it okay for someone like me to be here? I feel really sorry…”, and felt like I was taking a step back there too. 

But on second thoughts, it would be a real waste of the opportunity I’d been given, and my mindset changed, that when I step outside the group, it’s fine if I’m just being the person I am at that job instead of Keyakizaka46’s Kobayashi Yui, and if I could learn a lot of things while being there. When I came back to Keyaki from the drama set with that kind of mindset and was entrusted with standing in as the Center for several songs at the online live, I was able to perform with the thought, “I must do what I have to do right now and stand confidently”, so I think the experience that I gained from dramas and movies has been very significant indeed.

I think that’s partly why, but I could feel a tremendous spirit from your performance as the Center for “Garasu wo Ware!” at the online live. During that interlude, I heard the same shout from the soul as in the “Kouhaku Uta Gassen” at the end of 2018. What kind of feelings were you screaming with this time?

Kobayashi: 

Because “Glass wo Ware!” was to be followed by the renaming announcement, leading up to “Darekane” at the end in the flow of events, I thought I had to step it up a notch here. I screamed with the hope of getting the whole group and myself back into gear.

So it was with that in mind that you made that shout. But as you are getting more acting opportunities, I have the impression that Kobayashi-san’s own potential and possibilities are definitely expanding… This may be a bit of a grand question, but I’d like to ask you what kind of life you would like to lead as an individual. That said, you can talk about it casually, like from the standpoint of “I hope my life will be like this”... It’s difficult to put it into words... isn’t it?

Kobayashi: 

Life… While I’m in the group, I want to establish something like “when speaking of myself, this comes to mind”, and so my thoughts right now are that I want to be acting. There are many other things that I would like to try and do, but realistically speaking, most of them probably won’t happen. That said, I’ve written a ton of things in my “List of Things I Want to Do”. This may sound strange, but I’ve had goals in mind where “I want to make this happen by this age”, though they haven't come true at all (laughs). But I quite seriously wanted to become someone who can make the dreams that I thought would never be realized come true. 

However, now that Keyaki is to be renamed, I’ve settled down a little from dreaming of things in that way. It’s like, I had this image of the figure of a protagonist who had their own dreams when I first joined the group, but I came to realize that I couldn’t become that person. That I’m far from the ideal that I envisioned. Though I have no idea what’s going to happen to the group in the future, I feel that I want to work in this world for a long time, so perhaps if I continue, there are things that I’ll come to see… I can’t find the right words, but that’s what I've been thinking about.

As with your acting, when I listened to the a cappella version of “Futari Saison” that was shown at the end of the special interview broadcasted in July, I thought that your singing was really great. I heard that during the self-restraint period, you remotely recorded your singing with Saito Fuyuka-san and Ishimori Nijika-san in harmony and sent this to your fans, but did this also make you want to sing more?

Kobayashi: 

During the stay-at-home period, various artists were singing through livestreams and such, and there was something about them that really resonated with me. Until then, I used to think of singing as ‘something that had to be done well’, but rather than it being done well or not, I’ve come to think instead that I want to sing in a way that I am able to convey something through my voice. 

Before entering the self-restraint period, Fuu-chan (Saito), Nijika, and I did a SHOWROOM live where we sang Keyaki’s songs in harmony, so we talked about how we wished for our singing to reach our fans as an extension of that, and so we sent them multiple songs through our messaging app for fans. Fuu-chan and Nijika were thinking as well that it would be great if we could show not just our dancing, but our singing too, so we wanted to show a different side of ourselves in the song messages that we sent.

With that in mind, but not necessarily, for your last live concert as Keyakizaka46 scheduled for October, if you were to pick “a song that can’t be left out”, what would it be? It’s fine if you have more than one, so I’d like for you to pick them out.

Kobayashi: 

Hmm… There are probably important songs to each of us in telling the story of Keyaki, and there are many songs that have become turning points in the path that we’ve walked up till now, so I’d like to perform all of them if we could… but I guess you just can’t leave out “Saimajo (Silent Majority)”.

That’s true. And… just as an example, do you have a wish to say… try joining Aozora to MARRY and singing “Aozora ga Chigau”?

Kobayashi: 

Well, if it wasn’t the last live, I think that kind of shuffling scheme could also work (laughs), but since we’re bringing Keyaki to a close after all, my honest feelings are that I want to express the world view of Keyakizaka46 to the fullest.

I’m satisfied hearing those thoughts…! Come to think of it, the 5 years that you spent as part of Keyakizaka46, make up a quarter of the 20 years that you’ve lived so far. I know it’s not easy to put those intense 5 years into words, but what words would you use for it?

Kobayashi: 

Of the past 20 years, don’t you not have a clear memory of what happened for about half of it? Oh, it is in my case though (laughs), I have a vague memory up till I was around 10 years old. Thinking about it this way, the 5 years since I was 15 was an important period for me to build myself up. Even if I hadn’t joined Keyaki, it’s a time when I would experience various things as a person… like taking exams, and finding a job for example. I feel that it’s because I was able to do activities as part of Keyaki during a period where one experiences such important things, that I am who I am today. So, I look at it as the materials that shaped me.

I imagine that at this turning point of renaming, you’ve had more opportunities once again to talk to the 1st gen members with whom you’ve spent those 5 years together and shared your joys and sorrows. What is your relationship with them like now?

Kobayashi: 

We’ve certainly been in touch more often. Especially since it was decided that the group might be renamed, I talked to (Sugai) Yuuka and Akanen (Moriya Akane) every day about what we could do. When looking at the other members, I could tell when they were feeling down, and when I was feeling down myself, they would be like “you’re down now, aren’t you~” to me. We’ve come to do that naturally, and I think we’ve also had more deep conversations with each other. There’s no doubt that Keyaki attracted a lot of attention because there was a significant presence that was the face of the group, but there were times when we felt there wasn’t much attention on ourselves after all and lost our confidence. 

Whenever the group was in the spotlight, it was all about Hirate for better or worse, and there was a part of me that thought “we’re just not good enough”. But as I felt in the recent online live, I want to say that all the members are amazing, so let’s be more confident. To me, I want us to become the kind of group that can get to a place where we can all have aspirations for ourselves. But that’s something that I’ve been thinking about since the Keyaki times. That I want everyone to be happy.

Yes, the 1st gen members say it like a motto: “A group where each and every one of us can shine and be happy”. But it makes me a little sentimental to think that the rest of your days as Keyakizaka46 are flowing by even as we’re doing this.

Kobayashi: 

It’s embarrassing to say this, but even after I accepted the renaming, I sometimes found myself overflowing with tears while on the move (laughs). During the orientation session for the online live when it was explained to us that “this time’s concert will be like this”, I felt like crying the whole time, and thought that it feels lonely after all that our activities as Keyaki are ending. I want to say that “I feel the same way as all of you fans~”.

Even for B.L.T., having watched Keyakizaka46 climb the slope over these 5 years, we still haven’t been able to get over these painful feelings. To be honest, it’s been hard to organize our thoughts.

Kobayashi: 

We understand because we’ve been through the same things. I’m looking ahead now, but I think there are a lot of fans who are still bewildered by this. It can’t be helped that there’s a time lag there, and I’ve heard many fans still say, “you don’t need / don’t have to be renamed”. To be honest, I felt the same way at times, but I think there’s no other way to convince our fans about the decision but to continue our activities in a way that will make them follow us in the future.

That’s right, and it’s more convincing than anything else to let your actions speak for themselves. By the way, how did your family react to the renaming and restart?

Kobayashi: 

About that… my parents and my sister looked at things quite objectively, so they reacted calmly (laughs). But my friends were far more surprised and asked me a lot, like “what’s going to happen!?” But certainly, if you think about it calmly, there are artists and bands who have also been renamed right? And there are also personnel changes at unexpected times for company employees right? When I think about it that way, I feel that perhaps it doesn’t have to be such a serious matter. Maybe that’s also one way of thinking about it, and I try to convince myself of that. The members all don’t agree with me at all though (laughs).

But it’s true that it may have been overly sensationalized in some ways.

Kobayashi: 

The reason I think that way is partly due to the coronavirus situation. By spending more time at home, I couldn’t help but think about a lot of things. When I was busy before the coronavirus, my mind was focused on our activities, so I was used to thinking only about what was necessary, but having too much time to spare also makes for things to think about. And when I have a day off, I can’t help but eat. Though maybe I’m asking for too much...

What kinds of things did you do during those times?

Kobayashi: 

One way or another, I feel like I’m doing things that can be linked back to work. I read scenarios from dramas and movies, and try to imagine what kind of acting I would do in my own way. But I like the time I spend doing the work itself after all. That’s why I get really excited when my schedule is fully packed at the end of the year (laughs).

I hope that we can get back to our daily routines where we can do plenty of work soon.

Kobayashi: 

I think it’s quite difficult during such times, but I’d like to use my time to hone my dancing skills and take singing lessons as well. Also, I was scheduled for a location shoot for “Keyakake (Keyakitte, Kakenai?)” to learn to do a backflip, but it looks like it will end without me being able to do it at this rate. I don’t really like the sound of that (laughs). And then I also want to try my hand at action. I’d also like to join a workshop or something.

Indeed, if you are able to do action in acting, it opens up a lot more opportunities doesn’t it.

Kobayashi: 

In any case, I can’t stand the feeling that I’m wasting my time right now. It’s a bit extreme, but I’d probably feel happier if I’m as busy as I was during the time of the drama “Tokuyama (Tokuyama Daigorou wo Dare ga Koroshita ka?)” in which everyone in Keyaki appeared. At that time, it was so frantic that I felt like I was just tackling whatever was in front of me, but now I want to get used to being as busy as I was back then. Though there’s also the matter of whether or not we can make the most of our activities as a new group once the coronavirus situation settles down. Before that, I want to cherish the remaining days that we have, in order to say a proper and positive goodbye to Keyakizaka46.

And lastly… What kind of scenery reveals itself before your eyes right now? You can use scenic expressions like “I’m walking on a road that leads to the far horizon”, so please put it into words and tell us about it.

Kobayashi: 

It’s like being in the middle of a really vast area like a grassland, with no concept of a road. It’s not really that I’m able to see what’s ahead, but that’s why I can go anywhere in any direction. As I said earlier, I wasn’t able to achieve a single thing in my own plans of “making this happen by this age” (laughs), so perhaps I shall give what’s right in front of me my all.

---

Translation: Cirrus

QC: toomuchidea

Raw: karl_k46