Blessing for you (Koike Minami interview in blt graph.vol.110)
She spent five years as the trunk of Keyaki. She spent five years in Sakura, looking for her own way to bloom. As winter becomes spring, and the islands take on new colors in this new “saizon”--you’re no longer here.
Q First of all, thank you for all the hard work over your last ten years in the group. Due to various things, Koike-san has become the “anchor” of the first generation. How do you feel about that?
Koike: To be honest, it still doesn’t feel real that I’m graduating. But, I think that back during the filming of TokuDare? There was a time where we all happened to be discussing the topic of who would be the last to graduate. Back then, most of us answered with “Fuu-chan” (Saito Fuyuka) (laughs). I myself never thought I’d stay in the group for ten years, so I was the most surprised to find myself as the last (1st generation) member.
Q A while back, in the video uploaded to the Sakurazaka Channel Youtube page where Koike-san and Fuyuka-san entered the storage room housing the group’s past costumes, you wore the costume from “Futari Saizon”, right? And I mean this in a good way, but that felt strange… it felt like the Koike-san and everyone else from back then had settled into their roles.
Koike: When I wore that costume back then, the skirt length was long enough to cover my knees. But when I tried it the other day, it was above my knees. That made me think, “Ah, I’ve grown taller”, and I felt the amount of time that had passed. I also talked with Fuu-chan about it, who was wearing the “Rockin’” costume, saying stuff like, “It’s a bit different from back then, huh?” (laughs). But I thought I’d never wear the Saizon costume again, so I was happy to wear it. It brought back the memories from back then, and I really enjoyed the whole thing.
Q At that time, you danced while trying to remember the choreography of Keyaki era songs, right? It reminded us viewers how much time had passed too.
Koike: It’s been about four and a half years since Keyaki(zaka46)’s Last Live, and Sakura(zaka46) has been active for the same amount of time, five years. Because of that, I sometimes forget the choreography of Keyaki songs, but when I start dancing, I’ll remember it right away, like,”Oh, it was more like this~” (laughs). While laughing with Fuu-chan, we talked about how the movements had been ingrained into our bodies.
Q It’s like your cells properly remembered it. So, I’d like to get to the heart of the matter now. I’ve actually thought that there could have been a timeline where, if you hadn’t taken a hiatus, you might’ve graduated a little earlier.
Koike: Right…Before I went on hiatus, I had spoken with the staff about graduating, so if I hadn’t taken it, it might’ve come a lot sooner. But since I did take that hiatus, I wanted to put graduation on hold for a while. Then, after returning and restarting my activities with Sakurazaka, I felt the right timing had come… so I made that decision (to graduate).
Q I’m sorry to bring my family into the conversation, but one of my relatives also had developed panic disorder, and there was a long period of time where they couldn’t ride a train alone, so I felt like I understood how uncomfortable Koike-san was in that situation. I thought that depending on how things were going, there was the possibility you might graduate as it was during your hiatus, so I was really happy to see you return…
Koike: At first, I felt nothing but anxiety and fear on a daily basis, but on the other hand, I was also frustrated, and I couldn’t accept the “self that had decided to go on hiatus”. To be honest, for a few months after starting my hiatus, I was disheartened and thought, “I guess I’ll just be graduating as it is”. But when I went to watch Sakura’s tour, I felt the strong desire “to return to that place once again”. So in the end, that feeling of “I’ll definitely return!” won out– That’s how I think about it now.
Q The stage production of your return during “Masatsukeisuu” in the Tokyo Dome was so dramatic; it really hit me hard.
Koike: I was…really scared during that moment. I didn’t know what the view would look like until I got on the stage. But, when I actually stood on the platform, I felt more moved than afraid. The view was completely different from the one I saw in Tokyo Dome two years ago (November 2022), so I embraced the sense of gratitude for the opportunity to stand on stage once again, and I also had a moment where I renewed my feelings of “Ah…I love this place (being on stage) after all”.
Q Sakurazaka has grown to the point where they can perform in Tokyo Dome for three consecutive days in July this year. Did you decide to graduate because you feel peace of mind over how the group has become that big?
Koike: That’s right. After coming back and interacting with and listening to other members over the course of a few months, I could sense the change in everyone’s attitude towards the group’s activities– especially the 3rd generation members. It made me think, “Ah, they’ll be fine even without me anymore. I guess I’ve completed my duty as a 1st generation member”.
As for me, ever since I was 19, I’ve been doing my activities all the while wondering whether or not I’d become someone essential to the group. When we had just had the name change to Sakurazaka and hadn’t yet established any identity, all I could think about was, “What kind of group do I want people to know us as? I want to deliver our songs to as many people as possible”. And for a while, I had the strong feeling that “This isn’t the time to graduate yet”.
But then, the 3rd generation members took the audition and joined because they love Sakurazaka, right? That made me really happy, and gradually I had more and more moments where I thought that the hard work the 1st and 2nd generation members had done together with the sole focus of, “What kind of group should Sakurazaka be?” was coming to fruition. Ever since we’ve started doing concerts together, I’ve noticed that I’ve felt a strange sense of relief that everything will be fine, leading me to start thinking that it was about time for me to finish up. But I also love Sakurazaka so much that I’d want to stay in the group forever– But I wonder if that would be right?
On top of that, I’m also increasingly starting to want to look at Sakurazaka from a more objective viewpoint, which is also one of the things that made me think it’s time. I used to think things like, “I want to perform more like this. If I do that, the group will be like this”. But I’ve gradually started to think more like, “Is there anything I can do to help out the members with their problems?”. I realized that I had started distancing myself from Sakurazaka little by little, and that was also a reason.
Q From someone leading the group from the front, you are changing into a comforting presence that encourages the juniors from the side.
Koike: I’m sure my juniors are bound to feel the same emotions I’ve had over these nine and a half years, and I think us 1st gen members who have been active the longest are the ones who understand those things the best. There are things that are difficult to talk about with your genmates, and lately, I’ve been thinking it would be good if I could listen to them, so I’m trying to be more supportive with a “If you’d like me to, I’ll listen” feeling.
Q That’s why I think Koike-san’s presence is important to the “Endo Sisters (Hikari and Riko)”, especially to the 3rd generation Riko-san.
Koike: I think I’m so similar to Riko to the point that when I talk with her, it feels like talking to myself, and apparently Riko feels the same way. And I’m close in age to Riko’s older sister, so she often tells me, “Mii-san is like a sister”. As I’m a single child, I’m also happy about it because it feels like I finally have a younger sister (laughs). As there’s many occasions where I’m able to understand Riko’s worries, I guess we really are that similar. No bias, but I expect Riko will become someone who will continue to grow, and I hope she’ll be able to continue persevering and giving it her best.
Q Riko-san has drastically grown ever since her experience being a radio host for “Sakura Hinata Lotti’s Nobishiro Radio”.
Koike: But it seems like the person herself isn’t aware of her own growth. She’s always quick to say, “Geez! Rii (Riko) can’t do this. No way!!” (laughs). I think she felt that way because she compares herself with the other members, so I’m often telling her, “You’ve only been active for two years. You’re just getting started”. But that competitiveness is also part of her good side, to the point where she has repeatedly insisted, “It seems like I’m crying in the 3rd generation’s training camp documentary, but I didn’t actually cry!”. I also think about how cute that side of her is.
She hasn’t been crying lately, but last autumn, after the first performance of “Honshitsutekina Koto”, which she centered in the “4th Anniversary Live”, she cried a lot, perhaps because she was unsatisfied with her performance. But I think that the reason people can cry due to regret over things is because of high ambition or a high ideal, right? At least, I’ve never cried due to regret over my own performance, so I said to her, “I think it’s amazing you’re able to cry due to your regrets like that”. And then she got mad at me, like “Please don’t talk to me right now!” (laughs). I understand that that kind of sharp response comes from her competitiveness, and I know from experience that she won’t be able to move forward unless she can overcome it by herself, but I think at some point, Riko will be able to accept things as they are, I think she just needs more experience.
Q That’s right, in the end, it comes down to ourselves. Then, let’s talk about the 3rd generation members a little more… Murayama Miu-san said something very interesting. To summarize, she said, “We who joined after the formation of Sakurazaka don’t have Keyaki blood in us”. In the autumn of 2023, the 3rd generation members performed the Keyaki-era song “Katarunara Mirai wo…” at the final performance of “Shinzanmono”. While Murayama-san was happy, she said she felt conflicted about how that single Keyakizaka song livened the crowd up more than the Sakurazaka songs before it. [※]
Koike: Since the renaming, we haven’t performed any Keyakizaka songs in our concerts other than for the graduation ceremonies for members, and we’ve been fighting with only Sakurazaka songs. So to be honest, I was also frustrated that “Katamira” made the crowd more excited at “Shinzanmono”... But to say that “We will never perform Keyaki songs anymore” also feels sad. And, I’ve never thought that the 3rd generation members lack Keyakizaka blood. As we do our activities together, I feel like we’ve been able to build a relationship and “share blood” in a way, and I think that as each of us has assimilated that “uniqueness” present in the Keyaki songs and applied it into Sakura songs and our expressions, I think both the blood and genes will continue to be passed on. That’s how I think about it now. I can say this because I’ve been able to process that regret I felt at the time in my own way, and I also think the 3rd generation members can be who they are now because of their experience in “Shinzanmono”, so I personally think it’s been a net positive.
Q In that sense, things might be more complicated for the second generation members.
Koike: Before my hiatus… When we performed in Tokyo Dome for the first time after becoming Sakurazaka, there were moments where (Morita) Hikaru-chan, (Fujiyoshi) Karin-chan, and I discussed our feelings toward the Keyaki songs together. Even though it was our first big stage as Sakurazaka, we were frustrated about how it felt like we were borrowing the power from the Keyaki songs. But at the same time, we also wanted to give it our best, since they were the songs that Yuuka (the group’s first captain, Sugai Yuuka) wanted to perform at the end. But we still had that complicated feeling of wanting to fight with only Sakurazaka songs… The two of them, who stood up, led, and fought at the front in that incredibly important period when Keyakizaka had just been renamed to Sakurazaka, spoke to me about their complicated feelings.
As I could understand those feelings, I took on the performance while hoping that I could accept those feelings, to sympathize and comfort them in that way. But they looked like they were having an absolute blast on the 2nd day of the concert, so I think that it was something that was resolved on its own with the passage of time…
Q Right. But now, the group has strengthened to the point that they can sell out every seat with just Sakurazaka songs. What does Koike-san think about that?
Koike: I really felt that when I went to watch Sakura’s concert during my hiatus. The “4th ARENA TOUR” especially felt completely different from when I was on stage with everyone. I felt Sakurazaka has progressed to a different level since “3rd Anniv”, and watching their performance made me think, “I want to experience the current atmosphere of Sakurazaka as a member of the group. I want to go back to that place once again”. And amidst that, I was really hit hard by “Ikutsu no Koro ni Modoritai no Ka?”. I love it so much that I can say it’s my favorite, Keyaki era included… so much that I started to cry while rehearsing it (laughs). If you ask me why I reacted so strongly to it, it’s difficult to answer, but for me (Yamasaki) Ten-chan’s “Ikumodo” performance at last year’s Tokyo Dome left such a huge impression on me. (In the intro of the song) She started by showing Keyaki pose which then changed into Sakura’s, and then the intro of the song begins with her tossing a coin– That flow was so cool! It was also the period where I made my return, but I love everything about it, including the choreography and lyrics.
Q I was able to watch the final performance of “4th Arena Tour” at Pia Arena MM, but it was really quite the feast. And to think that it was exceeded at Tokyo Dome. There was a feeling of “culmination” there, but what does Koike-san think about it?
Koike: It was released at the time of Yuipon (Kobayashi Yui)’s graduation, and I myself was still on hiatus at the time, so when I first saw the title I was like “???”. But when I actually listened to the song, I found myself really taken with the lyrics… it even reminded me of the Keyaki era. The time I spent on hiatus was the most difficult period of time for me, in both mind and body, but now you can say that I’ve beautified it. I can say “I can be who I am because of what I experienced back then”, and talk about it with a smile. The fans often tell me, “You were going through a lot of things back then, but you worked hard throughout it all”; but even those many “things” now have been purified. The lyrics of “Ikutsu no Koro ni Modoritai no Ka?’ were a perfect match for the person I was back then. In that sense, you could say it’s a song that saved me.
Q That’s a wonderful story… But isn’t it interesting that the lyrics synchronized with your feelings at the time? There were also fans who said that it felt more convincing to have Koike-san be the one to sing the “I want to keep my calm at all times” solo part in the lyrics of “Nothing special”, the BACKS song for the 11th single.
Koike: Uwah~ To think there are people who listened to it like that… I’m glad to hear that. The melody is kind, or rather, gentle, is it not? But the lyrics are powerful, so to say, and there’s a nice gap between the two of them. That’s what I like about it.
Q It’s the kind of song that makes you love it the more you listen to it. And also in the 11th single, there is “Ikanai de” that can be said to be Koike-san’s graduation song. It’s a song where the image of Koike-san really comes through, accompanied with a Showa-era like sound.
Koike: The lyrics were pretty straightforward, so I was really surprised when I heard the song… But I was also happy with how it was made, since it’s as if Riko and Nagi (Kojima Nagisa)-chan, who are performing this song with me, are conveying their feelings through song to me, who will be leaving this place. Riko and I have been talking about wanting to do a unit performance together, and we didn’t have the opportunity during BACKS LIVE!, so Riko was happy that in the end, our dream came true with this original song… The moment the two of them read the lyrics, they said, “Eh!! This won’t do~! We’re going to cry~!!” (laughs). As I’ll be doing this unit with those two members who are adorable like that, I’d like to perform it with care until the very end.
Q Speaking of Kojima Nagisa-san, I heard that during her 1st year of high school, she danced to “Silent Majority” in her class for her school’s cultural festival.
Koike: Eh, I didn’t know about that. But, my hometown friend also listened to “SaiMajo” a lot, and when I was wondering if it was because I’m in the group, they said they came to like it after hearing it in a music show. We didn’t realize that we had “kicked up a storm”. So when we heard from our juniors that they had danced to Keyakizaka songs during their cultural or sports festivals, we finally started to realize how much people loved our group and listened to our songs, and we gradually started feeling happy about that.
Q With that in mind… I know it’s rude to ask you of this, but what do you think you have left behind for Sakurazaka46 as Koike Minami?
Koike: Ehh~ I wonder what!? Hmm… (Thinks for a moment) I don’t really know myself. But whether I’m in senbatsu or BACKS, I want the members and fans to feel at ease because I’m there. So when I hear fans saying things like, “I thought the song would go well because Mii-chan’s in it”, or “I heard your voice clearly, and that put me at ease” in miiguri [meet & greet] and stuff, that makes me really happy. It was especially encouraging to receive so many words like that after returning from my hiatus. I’ve also been working with the hope that the other members will think, “Everything will be fine because we have Koike-san!”, so I think I’ll be satisfied already if I’m someone whose presence is needed by the group.
Q This might also be a rude one, but do you feel like you’ve achieved everything you wanted to?
Koike: As I mentioned before, there was the option of graduating during my hiatus. But, my personality prevents me from just “avoiding” or “evading” things, so I think I have the sense of accomplishment that I could only gain because I came back and tried again with my own strength. I also used to feel a little uneasy after a concert, thinking things like, “I wonder if everything turned out ok today?”. But lately, I’ve been thinking “That was so much fun~”. Even when everyone was having fun during the afterparty, I used to be stuck on reflecting on the performance and my regrets from it, and I couldn’t let myself unwind. But, last year, I finally felt that I can sincerely enjoy concerts, and I’ve been able to play around more with everyone else as well.
With that, I think my way of thinking has changed a lot. I used to try to make everything come out perfect, but now I think it’s okay to relax my expectations a bit, so to speak…so not everything needs to be perfect. To think, “Things didn’t go as well as I hoped today, but it’s fine to have days like this too”. Before, I wouldn’t be satisfied until the problem was solved right then and there, but now I can think, “Maybe I can’t do it today; I’ll just take it home with me”. I think that’s a pretty big change. But my personality hasn’t changed that much, since I still think, “I’ll make up for it tomorrow” (laughs).
Q If you think like that, then perhaps you’ve been too stoic until now.
Koike: My mind used to be filled with thoughts of “I wasn’t able to do it”, but now I can take a breather from those thoughts; I feel like I have more room in my mind, and I’ve been able to organize my thoughts better. I think that’s more suitable for me now.
Q It’s the state you arrived at after going through so many twists and turns. How do you feel now that your story as an idol is coming to an end?
Koike: There was also the option to continue my activities until the tour, but since I think it’ll be a tour to promote the 2nd album and I’m already determined to graduate with the 11th single, I had to draw the line. If I was going to join the tour, I would probably join in on the Tokyo Dome performances, and then probably at Kyocera Dome as well… (laughs). I had to harden my heart about it. And thankfully, a graduation ceremony will be held for me in “Buddies Thanksgiving”. Though, to be honest, I feel worried that this event that’s supposed to be about thanking the fans will be overshadowed by my graduation. But since it’s the only possible event timing-wise, I’ll be able to graduate in front of the Buddies there. I always liked Morning Musume-san and AKB48-san ever since I was little, and it was when I was around 3 or 4 years old that I decided that I would definitely become an idol. Even though it’s already miraculous enough that I actually became one, to think that I was able to be active for 10 years… I realize once again how happy I’ve been.
Q I think that, looking back, there must be so many memories, but which ones come to your mind?
Koike: I wonder… The thing that makes me think that each group is truly different is how during the time of Keyaki, I put the group first, and was always struggling with “the things in front of us right now”. When we stood on stage, it truly felt like everyone gave even beyond their all, and even I performed with the thought of, “I wouldn’t mind if my life ended right at this moment”.
But ever since we became Sakurazaka, I started thinking more about myself. Back in Keyaki, I didn’t really understand my personality or individuality, but as I became a part of Sakurazaka– a group that started without any kind of idea of the group that it wanted to be, these past five years have given me the chance to really think, “Who am I?”. I think it’s been a very significant time for me.
Q Amidst the many developments that have happened in Sakurazaka, many members chose to name the album and 2nd tour “As you know?”. What do you think, Koike-san?
Koike: When I first heard that we’d be releasing an album as Sakurazaka, to be honest, I wondered if it was okay to release one even when the identity of the group was still unrealized. But in the end, I think it’s become a work that makes me feel that we might have established the group’s “color”, just as the other members thought. Then the 3rd generation members joined, bringing in a new “color”... and I think they showed us what the “Sakurazaka-ness” is like. Speaking of, I think the 3rd generation is a bit similar to us 1st generation. When I see the 11 of them sharing their feelings together, it reminds me of the Keyaki days, where we were all so tightly knit with one another. Of course, they’re different as individuals, but as a group… That’s something I talked about with (Uemura) Rina and Fuu-chan (Saito Fuyuka): we were like, “Don’t they remind you of what we were like back then? How nostalgic…” (laughs).
Q So, I asked the same question of Uemura-san and Saito-san, but if the present Koike Minami could say something to the Koike Minami on the 21st of August in 2015…?
Koike: I wonder what… I guess it’s “I hope you’ll be able to continue to cherish your curious nature throughout your activities.” When I passed the final audition and stood on stage, it filled me with such a feeling of excitement. But as it came time to start our activities, I repressed that feeling of adventure inside me. My way of thinking didn’t fall in line with that of the others, and because of this, I became convinced that I shouldn’t just be enjoying myself and pursuing my own vision. I wonder what would have happened if I had just retained a sense of curiosity in my activities with Keyakizaka. That’s why I’d like to tell myself back then to continue cherishing that feeling of excitement as I do my activities. I had different ideas from everyone else, and it left my emotions in disarray; as a result, I tried to fit in with everyone else instead. But now, I want to tell myself that it’s okay to be more honest with my own feelings.
Q It also felt like a message toward the 4th generation members, who will be joining soon. Then finally, please give a “parting speech” to all the members of Sakurazaka46.
Koike: To the 4th generation members, if you joined with the feeling of, “I love Sakurazaka!”, then I’d be happy if you can continue to cherish that feeling. And if you come to love Sakurazaka after joining, I hope you can work while keeping your individuality, instead of trying to fit in with the group. Your “uniqueness” will permeate the group in various ways, and it might bring something new, which will ultimately become a benefit to the group…Sakurazaka’s charm is how it’s a collection of each individual’s “uniqueness”, so I hope that all members will cherish those feelings they have during any given moment and be able to see wonderful sceneries.
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RAW: kiryu
Translation: TMI
QC: koac & pz
※ Additional excerpt from Murayama Miu's interview in blt graph. vol.98
RAW: Someone
Translation: TMI
QC: koac & pz
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